Wow!

I was thinking on my trip recently to Yellowstone that God must be busy. I mean, think about it. Look at everything around us in nature. Flowers, trees, grass, animals. And God still has time to jack with me. Conversely, with all the time he takes with me it's a wonder the world doesn't crash! He must be a big God!

Isaiah 55:9

As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Is there an on-time doctor in the house?

Ok, I'll try to make this the last rant about doctors but I make no guarantee. Between growing old and "being very lucky" I have seen my share of doctors lately but I still don't really understand them. My wife works in the medical field and she has tried to help me understand the mindset but I have to admit I still don't. My appointment today was at 4:00 pm. My doctor bebops in at 5:12 pm. I'm sound asleep in the examining room chair and he walks in and all he has to say is, "Crutches, huh?" and then proceeds to lecture me about the dangers of motorcycles.

No apology for being late. No "sorry I'm running a little behind" or "pardon my tardiness" or "excuse me for being an arrogant jerk who knows that my time is so much more valuable than yours and I know you can't do anything about it". No nothing. I can't even conceive of that! How can you have a scheduled appointment and run over an hour late and still keep your job much less be part of society and do it consistently and not feel any remorse for keeping somebody waiting. I had a month-old Time Magazine to help me pass the time. I'm just mad. Somebody tell me what society is going to do about this. Nothing? I should have crotched him with a crutch and lectured him on the dangers of lecturing me about anything. Yea, that's what I should have done.

The Great Rocky Mountain Tour '09

Ah...the wind in my face, the sun on my nose and the gravel in my ear! Good times! Wow, I don't know where to begin. I saw some incredible things, let me tell you. My quest: Yellowstone National Park and whatever else I could see from my faithful '02 Honda Shadow ACE 750. The plan was to camp in a tent every night so I didn't feel the need to make any reservations at any campgrounds and since I was going alone I didn't have to ask anybody's opinion.

I left Texas on July 3rd and traveled northwest to Raton, Mew Mexico where I spent the night in a beautiful little city park where I didn't even need to pitch my tent. I just threw down my sleeping bag next to a park bench and slept like a baby. Well...a baby with one hand on a Taurus .40 pistol.

I bragged to my wife that I was prepared for any kind of weather and that I fully expected to be rained on but that it wouldn't be a problem. And I was prepared for rain just not driving, pouring, slashing, blinding, freezing rain with hail that lasted all day long which is what I got the second day as I crawled pitifully into the Pikes Peak area of Colorado. Genius me didn't think it necessary to make reservations even though it was 4th of July and after asking every place in town if they had room for an 8x8 tent, I wound up finding a hotel room in Monument, Colorado. Maybe I should have said "yes" to the nice old gay Marine who asked me to stay with him but I didn't.

The next day was better and found me in Estes Park, Colorado where I slanted westward over the Trail Ridge Road. This was one of the absolute highlights of my trip and is the most beautiful country I have ever seen in person or on TV or the movies or internet. No exaggeration. Wow! Taking pictures only made me mad because the picture just couldn't hold the wonder of the scene. Alright, I'm going to use three words that I have never really used before that come to mind to describe this place: "vast", "breath-taking" and "majestic". Yes, they sound dorky and literary and over-used but if you can't use those three words to describe what I saw then take them out of the English language!

Night 4 found me in an ocean of sagebrush and nothing else at the Big Sandy Recreation Area on the southern Wyoming plain with nothing and nobody probably within 50 miles. It was pretty incredible when the huge full moon came up over the rise of the earth that night. It was as if God said, "Here, Todd, this moon is for you and you only!" I didn't put up the tent so I could appreciate it all night.

Night 5 cooled me off with the beautiful Tetons for babysitters in Colter Bay. Massive, snow-covered knife edges blast out of the prairie and after riding toward them for hours it looks like you could reach out your hand and cut your fingers on the top. Again, pictures and postcards just dissapoint compared to the real thing.

My sixth night was spent in the clouds above Gardiner, Montana on Jardine Road with elk for company and some horses in a pen nearby looking like they were waiting for David R. Stoecklin

to take their pictures. If my mansion in Heaven is built on that mountainside, I'll be very content.

I headed back south into Yellowstone the next day and camped with bison and deer within 50 feet of my tent in Pebble Creek Campground. I'll tell you in person the story of the bears I saw nearby. It's too good of a story not to tell audibly. Incredible sights, friendly people. Yellowstone did not dissappoint.

I had some of the most fun on my trip in Pinedale, Wyoming where they host the Pinedale Mountain Man Rendezvous. Free breakfast, parade, rodeo. It was the only place I spent two nights in the same place which was in a campground right in town that actually had showers and laundry services. Wow, I needed those! Even the mountain men were grateful I had cleaned up.

I left there Sunday morning and was headed to Moab, Utah to finish the last leg of my trip before heading home. The Utah mountains are beautiful and the warm sunshine and lower elevation warmed me and relaxed me probably a little too much. I remember crossing the Wyoming/Utah border thinking, "Well, isn't this nice! I'm getting a little bit slee..." My next memory was waking up in the emergency room in Vernal, Utah. The nurse said I took out a roadsign but she thought my bike was ok. She left and I realized I didn't know why I was there. The concussion left me very foggy-brained but I started the anatomy check. I first put my hands to my head. A little sore but I couldn't feel any bandages so I figured that was ok. My arms were ok. One of them had a new band aid but no problem. I pulled the sheet back that was across my lower body and prepared for a shock but everything seem attached where it was supposed to be. Then I noticed my good Wrangler's had been cut from my ankle up to my hip and I saw my knee was swollen like a grapefruit. Pretty painful but even then I knew it could have been alot worse.

My wife disobeyed me and she and a dear friend from church came and got me the next day and drove me home. Well, there you have the skeleton of the trip. I promise to tell some of the stories that happened in those 12 or so days here soon but now you know the basics. The doctor says I broke my tibial plateau and have to stay on crutches for 8 weeks. So between all that and my thoughts for getting Teddy home, I should have plenty of blog fodder for a while so stay tuned and I'll try not to bore you with pictures. They can't tell the whole story anyway!

Here's another hint...

That skunk saved my life.

I'm back

Well, I'm back from the Great Rocky Mountain Motorcycle Tour '09 and I have some stories to tell. Give me a little while and I'll start to fill you in. Here's a hint: it didn't end like I was planning.

Dori is a happy camper!

Back to nature

Me and some of my friends are gonna hang out this weekend at the bike show. Wanna come along?

Frito-Lay, seriously?

Lahoma is not ok. http://www.newsok.com/feed/box-of-chips-pays-for-prostitution-in-oklahoma-city/article/3380255?custom_click=pod_headline_news

Sources say crab dip was involved as well.

Happy Father's Day!

My dad and I went to Cancun together years ago. No real occasion for it. He said he just wanted to take me and we had a blast but what I was reminded of today was how he handled a fast-talking time share salesman. Here's the story:

My dad has been a Baptist preacher for longer than I have been alive but he also volunteered for a while to do a stint as chaplain for the local police department. It's a small town and there wasn't a whole lot of action for a chaplain but my dad was prepared for the action even if none appeared. He had all the accessories, let's just say that. He had hats, jackets, lights, even the gun but he also had a special wallet to hold his big, gold chaplain's badge. Never know when you might need to show your badge and Pop could whip that wallet out and flash that badge with the best of 'em.

So there we are in Cancun, Mexico, just the two of us for some sun and fun and we saw some guy in the hotel lobby giving out information on some fun things to do in Cancun. Through him one could go snorkeling, parasailing, fishing, diving, boating, tours, etc. He said if we just went to a quick orientation we could get a free breakfast and go snorkeling or parasailing for free. Well, we're all about free but Pop asked the guy if they were going to try to sell us anything and the guy assured us they would not. They just wanted to give some information.

We showed up at the place and sure enough, bigger than Dallas, they wanted to sell us timeshare vacation deals at "bargain prices" and all we had to do was listen to their presentation. At the end of the presentation we would not have to buy anything but we would get vouchers for free snorkeling or parasailing. So we tried to sit through it but after an hour or two of listening to this infomercial, we finally got up and left just to save what little time we had there in Cancun.

Later on that day we just happened to go into a mall not far from the hotel and there was the original salesman in a kiosk in the mall selling those timeshares. Pop marches up to him and asks him about the lie he told us about not trying to sell us anything. The guy recognizes us and starts to try to say something but before he could get it out Pop reaches in his pocket and pulls out the special wallet, flips it open like he has seen on TV too many times and flashes the big, gold chaplain's badge at the startled Mexican.

"In my country you would be arrested for business practices like that! Who do you think you are telling us a lie and trying to deceive us into buying a timeshare? That's illegal where I come from..." and Pop continued to tell the guy what he thought about him and his business. "I think you ought to go to jail for such behavior!" He looked at me and I tried not to laugh and just nodded. Pop didn't let up.

He griped at the scared Mexican salesman for a minute or two and the man got so intimidated and nervous he couldn't hand over vouchers quick enough. He wound up giving us vouchers for free parasailing and snorkeling and he even threw in a t-shirt just to make the mad American policia go away! Pop never said he was law enforcement but evidently "Chaplain" does not translate well when flashed on a badge for half a second and if that was his impression, oh well! We enjoyed the trip even more as we parasailed and snorkeled and laughed the whole time and Pop still cracks up when we talk about it. So, happy Father's Day, Pop. Good times! And remember, "Just act like you know what you're doing".

Could have been worse...

Ok, this is just off the top of my head. I didn't see Letterman when he told "the joke" and I didn't see him when he apologized and I know that much is told non-verbally so I just have to go by what I read here. My first thought is: at least he said that much. I just assumed he didn't feel bad at all about saying something like he did about Sarah Palin's daughter.

If you don't know what I'm talking about well, good for you. Nevermind. Don't worry about it but most people have heard that David Letterman said something offensive about the Palins. To tell you the truth, I wonder when people are going to quit taking seriously what "famous" people say. He's a stupid comedian who went for some cheap laughs by taking a shot at somebody else that is famous. Did he mean for the joke to be about the 18 year old or the 14 year old? Who knows? Who cares? What's really the difference? Yes, it's tasteless and offensive but get over it. That's what people like him say.

I'm a big Palin fan but honestly, she probably overreacted. I'm not cutting Letterman any slack. He never should have told that joke but Palin should have never let it escalate to this point. Maybe I want to live in a perfect world but people have more important things to do than wah wah about people saying mean things. Put your big-girl panties on and show people that you have style and grace even when your name is slandered and your feelings get hurt.

So, my point is that at least Letterman apologized. Could it have been better? Yeah, sure. Did he really mean it or is he worried about his ratings? Eh, probably a little bit of both. Who knows? Who cares? Let's go to sleep and tomorrow we fight bigger battles. Like...how is Teddy ever going to get home?!

I'm not there yet...

But I will be soon. Sometimes a man just needs to get away. I work hard. I've earned it and even my boss can't stop me. I told my parents the other night that I was going to Yellowstone Park and on up into Canada riding my motorcycle by myself and they just looked crestfallen. They know they can't do anything to change my mind and now it's all I think about on those rare occasions when my mind can go where it wants. It always goes north. You know what I want to see most? Sunrise. I promise to come back with the picture of a sunrise. You will know that's why I went when you see it. More info to come.

More handgun probs

Ok, I have a few problems with this article. First off, it's so very obviously a toy gun and anybody should be able to tell even tucked into a waistband. Secondly, these kids were rummaging around the dumpsters looking for unused booze on a college campus. Is there such a thing as unused booze on a college campus and would they really throw it in a dumpster? Also, the fourth paragraph says, "No shots were fired". No (headbob) kidding! It was a toy gun! This article is getting on my nerves!

Handgun problems: solved!

A friend of mine recently wrote about reading another friend's blog about reading the owner's manual of his pistol. I only hope that criminals read the owner's manual as well since mine reads "Danger: This product is not intended for use by criminals or for the use in commission of crimes."



Also, there are no pictures to go along with this post since I was scared off of google after entering "gangbanger pics" in the search window. Don't try it. Just trust me.

Good news and bad news

Bad news: we elected Gilligan to be vice-president.

Good News: I got HD and a DVR!

Bad news: Swine Flu is the new AIDS.

Good news: I don't have to watch commercials anymore!

Bad news: Obama kills babies with his open heart and open mind.

Good news: I have a crystal clear picture and extra channels!

Bad news: Nancy Pelosi is obviously a zombie fire ant wandering aimlessly with no brain.

Good news: I'm paying less now than I was for regular TV!

I think the world is going to be just fine now!

Blame it on the Ambien

Ah, the miracles of modern medicine! In this life, sometimes things just don't go quite right. Sometimes a man just needs a little help. Know what I mean? Sometimes just a little bit of pharmaceutical help is all that's needed. Anything can be taken the extreme but I firmly believe that some medicines, in the right dosage, under a doctor's care can dramatically increase the quality of life. No great leap there, I know, but some people won't "do drugs" for anything even if advised by people that know. I have a friend whose wife should definitely go to the doctor for some happy pills. Nothing wrong with that. It doesn't make you a bad person if you need a little adjustment here and there. It happens to good people all the time.

My drug of choice is Ambien. I highly recommend it if you have trouble falling asleep. I don't know how it works but evidently it tricks your brain into thinking it's sleepy and you fall asleep but that trickery is caused by a strong hallucinagen. One can imagine the problems that it might cause but I like to think of it as opportunity. You have the opportunity to see things you wouldn't normally see and to forget things you might not want to remember. Lots of new doors can be opened with a good drug like Ambien.

Now so far Ambien and blogging have been a fun mix. I take the stuff about 9:00 or 9:30 and then go to the computer. Again, for some that might be a problem but not me. Just this morning, for instance, I was able to read my own blog like any other reader. I saw the last post about Gain detergent and thought, "Huh, I wonder what that's about". I have to admit that I had to read it a couple of times before I totally understood it but, hey, not bad for somebody totally out of their mind. So just to make sure it's clear: anything you read here written after about 9:00 or 9:30 does not necessarily reflect the views of the owner so please read with a grain of salt. At least I have an excuse for saying stupid stuff. What's Bono's excuse?

Beleive it or not, I'm not in this for the money.

I was cruising around my blog tonight just looking at different things and came across a section on the dashboard part of it behind the scenes that is labeled "Monetize". I, like some others, have a slight interest in all things money so I clicked over there. It gave tips and hints on how to add advertising to your blog by putting ads between the sidebar and below the post. They won't tell you how much you will make by doing it but this is to let my loyal readers know that you will not see any ads in my blog! Not me. No way, not the kid! I'm not giving in to the man. For love of the game...that's me. Nobody's making any money off those two stupid cartoons and a picture of John Wayne. That's right. Shoot it's time for bed. I sure am glad I bought Gain Laundry Detergent. My sheets have that willowy forest smell to it. It's the smell...the smell of clean! Ca-ching!

Storytime in parts

--Part XI--

Jimmy Robert Cade had a decision to make. He had always been down on his luck and had rarely kept the few meaningless jobs he had ever aquired for more than a few months. In his mind Cade (known by his associates as Jimbob) had always felt that he was under-appreciated. Employers rarely saw the diamond in the rough he was soon to be if he just had a break. If they would just give him some latitude in his work ethic he would show them pretty soon that he was a good worker but few employers were willing or able to see things as Jimbob saw them and now he had to make a decision.

The gun in his coat pocket made him feel powerful. It was the feeling he had never gotten any other way and the sensation was sweeping over him like a fever. It started in his head and had moved down his spine. It puffed out his chest and moved down to his feet that were now moving one after the other without his acknowledgment toward the building. His mind freewheeled over things that had been said to him and done to him. Most of the time he had not protested when he was fired from a job or turned down for an opportunity but some things were beyond his control. When he lost his job at the diner the owner said it was because he was continually tardy but Jimbob's car had broken down and he had yet to fix it. That's all. The owner said Jimbob "couldn't be counted on" and had fired him after only two weeks. "I bet he's not counting on this!", thought Jimbob as he walked down the sidewalk. He reached the door and paused, glancing in the restaurant and taking a deep breath.

Jimbob Cade was thirty years old but looked several years older. He grew his stringy hair longer on one side and combed it over the top assuming nobody would notice the bare spot. He wore a thread-bare gray suit his ex-wife had bought him years ago so he would have something to wear to church but even though Christmas and Easter rarely came around the suit was well worn. He thought he looked good in it and wore it nearly everywhere proudly. He never cared for a tie and usually opted not to shave since he had sensitive skin. He was average height but slightly built with a concave chest and narrow slumping shoulders. When he looked in the mirror he knew that his brown eyes were his best feature. His ex-wife had told him that years ago when they were dating so that is how he knew.

He stood on the sidewalk for a long moment screwing his courage up to a sticking place and letting the memories combine with the newly-felt power. This combination of repression of feelings, oppression of employers and depression of mind had left a lasting impression on Jimbob's psyche that he felt had to be released. At this point he had pretty much made up his mind but if he needed any more motivation to go in the door he saw a ferocious dog approaching him obviously wanting to do him harm and so he slipped inside the door as much for safety than as to get what he was due.

The bell hanging on the door barely caused any heads to turn and Jimbob was unsure exactly of his next move. He walked over to the wooden counter where the cash register was but there was nobody there. Just then the old waitress called out, "Seat yourself, honey" and continued filling a customer's coffee mug. Jimbob waited by the register with his hand in his pocket wrapped around the small revolver. He waited there for several minutes just feeling uncomfortable. He had seen things going differently than this in his mind. He had seen patrons climbing under their tables in fear of him and the owner crying out, begging him to spare his life. Jimbob was not wanting to hurt anyone. He just wanted them to be afraid, to show him respect but none of that seemed to be happening now and Jimbob was getting anxious.

The waitress finally came over to him and repeated her previous message but when she turned around Jimbob grabbed her by the arm and pulled out the gun. He again expected her to instantly cower in fear but instead she jerked her arm away and looked him in the eye. Not even seeing the gun Jimbob held at waist level, the waitress said, "Hey! What the..." and then finally seeing the weapon, slowly finished her sentence with what Jimbob recognized as disgust in her voice. "...blue blazes do you think you're doing?"

"Give me the money outta the...in the..." Jimbob was mentally over-stimulated at this point and although he was jerking his thumb toward the cash register, he couldn't think of what to call it.

"Gimme the money!" He finally said loudly. All eyes now turned his way. He turned to tell them all something tough like you would see in the movies but the only thing that came out of his mouth was, "Stop it! Shut up!" It did not even make sense. All they were doing was looking at him. Visions of ex-wives and ex-employers all rushed to his already overloaded brain. He felt impotent and foolish and wished he were someplace else. He closed his eyes for a moment and reached up to wipe the sweat away from his forehead with the back of his hand that held the gun and felt the gun scrape against his fingers as it was pulled from his grasp in literally the blink of an eye.

His eyes popped open and he looked at the people in the restaurant. For a brief surreal second Jimbob did not know what happened. He even looked at his hand in disbelief. The gun was gone. One moment he had it and the next moment...he heard "Hey!" come out of his own mouth and then he felt a hand on his shoulder. He whirled around and saw the huge figure of a shabbily dressed man towering over him. He could smell alcohol and, oddly enough, bacon on his breath. The whole scene was more than Jimbob could process and he bolted for the door in a panic. He banged open the door, his every fiber wanting to find release from this situation. He heard the bell clash angrily against the glass door and saw the daylight but then as his foot hit the pavement he also saw the ferocious dog, mouth open and tongue out, waiting to bite him. The combination of momentum, adreneline and lack of natural coordination sent Jimbob flailing more sideways than forward and more airborne than running. He tried to jump over Teddy and turn at the same time and did neither very well. One leg hit the ground and gave him just enough distance to crease the lightpole with his eye socket on his way down to the sidewalk. Just before he passed out he could feel Teddy lick his nose.

My friend Kirk

Some of you have been wondering about my friend Kirk who fixed my computer. Who is this unknown super-friend with all-knowing computer skills? This is his picture. He usually wears a shirt when I see him but his wife gave me this picture to share. Just out of sight of the camera is a group of sorority girls that are ogling him with delight. He fixes computers in his spare time when he is not curing children's diseases in Botswana or single-handedly designing and building fighter jets at a local plant. Men fear him, women desire him. He also has nun-chuk skills and bow hunting skills. He's an astronaut and he owns this bar. If you see him, thank him for what he has done for all of us.

Taurus .40

Fits, shoots and looks just like it should.

I'm back!

Woohoo!! This is my home computer and it seems to be working fine now. My good friend Kirk came over and did major surgery on it and got it going again. Evidently the RAM had corrupted the hard drive and by removing some of the RAM and reinstalling the disk it is now working. I'll buy some RAM to replace it but I'm out cheap and I can't thank Kirk enough. He spent many hours over here tonight and had vast stores of patience while I looked over his shoulder asking if it was done yet. I told Kirk I had even prayed for the stupid thing to start working again and he admitted to me that he was about to give up trying but then prayed that the Lord would give him wisdom. He obviously did receive wisdom just like the Bible says and he was able to help a friend out with that wisdom. So, thank you, Lord and thank you, Kirk so very much. I tried to kiss Kirk on the mouth but he just turned his head! But I bet our wives will join us out to eat soon.

Now what?

I think I'm gonna start blogging with a Big Chief tablet and a #2 pencil. Maybe do some crayon work in there for color. Since I can't get my computer to work that's what I'm down to. Just come on over to my house if you want to read my Big Chief blog from now on. We bought the computer a little over a year ago from Best Buy and the warranty went out after a year. So I took it back to let those geek guys look at it and first they said they would diagnose it for $70.00. Then I took it back after doing the stuff they told me to do (reload the original disks) and they said they would diagnose it for $129.00 or diagnose it and fix it for $199.00. It won't let me do anything to it. It just keeps coming back to a black ctrl-alt-delete screen. I don't like using my work computer. (It's not as good for one thing.) But Marilyn and Teddy are screaming to get out of my head so maybe I'll try writing it down on the Big Chief. Hope that doesn't break down too.

Computer still dead

Ok, this is getting old! My home computer is still on the fritz. I took it to the geeks and they said to re-download the original disks that came with it but that didn't seem to help. I still come up with a screen that says ctl-alt-del. When I do that it just reboots and says the same thing. Do I need a new computer or should I let the geeks diagnose it for $70?

Computer problems

Sorry for the light posting. My home computer came up with the blue screen of death and I don't know what to do. Any ideas? I have alot to blog about. I just don't want to do from my work computer. I'm anxious to tell you about my new gun purchase (I'm now forty calibers of deadly!). I'll give you my Walmart theory. My thoughts about Guns n Roses, pirates, common sense, my trip to Canada, why you don't give pigs too much bran, my advice to my kids, and, of course, Marilyn and Teddy! Okay, maybe not all of that but you may be surprised. I'm about to start coming out of my shell. Stay tuned.

Bo vs. Bo

Look at that sissy dog on the left! What kind of self-respecting canine would be seen in a multi-color lei? This is just to serve notice that the real first dog has always been OUR Bo (on the right)! As Napoleon Bonaparte once said, "Change your name or change your ways".

I'm either gay or old.

I figure I either went gay or got old because I was wearing a pair of jeans yesterday called "Indigo Palms". Double belt loops and orange piping on the back pockets. Hey, they're comfortable so shut up! My mom got them at a garage sale for like fifty cents. But they might as well be called "Homo Palms". Oh, that's gross! Oh, well, they'll probably look good with my old fishing hat and dress shoes. Or pumps...no, not pumps. That's going too far.

Easter thoughts

Today was a good day. It wasn't perfect but it was good. I took a long bike ride today after church and that is always conducive to deep thinking for me. At least as deep as I can get. Plato still ain't scared of me. I thought alot about what Easter really is and how it applies to me. I thought about the crucifixion of Jesus and horrible it was. I thought about Judas betraying his friend Jesus and wondered how a person could do that which immediately made me think of how many times in different ways I myself have done that. My thoughts could easily have taken me miles down the road of a guilt trip I didn't have to take. I thought about my life and how things might be different if I had made better choices in the past. What if I did things better now and did the things I know I need to do? What if...? What if...?

My life, like today, is not perfect but it is good and the good stuff always seems to come in spite of myself. I have alot to be thankful for but today of all the days of the year I am reminded of the thing that I am most blessed to have and it is because of this day we celebrate. Mark 16:6 says, "But he said to them, Do not be alarmed. You seek Jesus of Nazareth, who was crucified. He is risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid Him." That one verse changes everything! In fact, it's just those three words in the middle "He is risen!" With those three words I have hope. Not hope like "I hope it rains" or "I hope I get a raise" but an expectant hope - something to look forward to that I know will someday happen.

Honestly, there is alot I don't know or understand. I don't know how Jesus did it and the more I think about it the less I can understand why He did it but I know that I can have peace and joy in the confidence that He did. That's what I decided Easter is about. So, think about it and I hope your day was good.

Quote

As you may know, I enjoy a good quote. When I find one interesting, I like to share it here. Now this one, I have to admit, cracked me up. I don't know where it came from and it is not theologically deep or even correct. I believe God has a sense of humor and even enjoys seeing his kids laughing -- so in a way God thinks this quote is funny. What do you think?

Impotence is God's way of saying, "No hard feelings".

Acapulco

I finally downloaded a bunch of pictures off my phone so I'm posting some of them here. Sorry for the blurriness. This set is from the window of our hotel in Acapulco. They're here mainly for my benefit!

Pics of Ashlyn, just because.

Dori says..."What? Nothing!"

Now that's a Hustler!

Even my dogs like my church!

I miss it.

It's been so long since I was in Acapulco but I can still feel the warm sand, the breaking waves and the cold, refreshing taste of a Bimbo Negrito! I wonder why I can't find it up here?

Ok, now what?

"We know more about war than about peace. We know more about killing than about living. This is our 20th Century's claim to progress -knowledge of science outstrips capacity for control. We have too many men of science, too few men of God. The world has achieved brilliance without wisdom, power without conscience. We are a world of nuclear giants and ethical infants."

--- General Omar Bradley

It may have been fifty years ago when General Bradley said this but it is very applicable today. Great motivating words -- but motivating to do what?

James 1:5
If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

I feel so guilty now.

Popcorn makes me happy!

I rarely fawn over a place so much as to recommend it here but this is me fawning! I didn't even know I could fawn but since now that's the word I chose, I'll go with it. Whatever it means, you need to go to The Popcorn Stop in Arlington. Make a special trip if you need to. It will be worth it. I told you I went there last week and got a few flavors. Well, yesterday I went back there and bought 9 other flavors. They have 55 different flavors. I felt like a kid in a popcorn store! They also have all kinds of different candies that you don't see anymore like candy cigarettes. Gotta love 'em just don't let your kids see 'em. I bought all kinds of popcorn: cheese, sour cream and chives, loaded baked potato, mac and cheese, jalapeno ranch, dill pickle (actually very good), blackberry, cheesecake and something else. All of it wonderful. I was so happy when I got home from work that I did the popcorn dance. I'm thinking about getting a bunch of those "party size" bags and filling up my car and just driving around, eat, eat, driving around, eat, eat, fill up the bathtub, eat, eat, smoke a candy cigarette, eat, eat, sit in the kiddie pool full of popcorn, eat, eat...you get the idea.

Storytime in parts

--Part X--

Marilyn entered the diner and looked around. Her high hopes were met on the way down by a rising hunger that overcame her leariness of the place. The smell of grease and bacon and eggs and a vague sweetness were enveloped in cigarette smoke and bleach. She considered turning around and going right back out the door but the stranger had said something about pancakes and...well, she had promised Teddy something to eat...and she would hate to be rude to the new friend she had just made...maybe just a quick bite and then she and Teddy would continue running away.

She noticed the stares of the few patrons in the place when she walked in. She realized she must look frightful and became embarrassed by the muddy clothes she had on. She tried to run her fingers through her hair but hit tangles instead. Standing there was almost more than she could do and she again felt the need for escape but just as she was turning to go she saw her new friend wave to her from a booth toward the back. His smile was friendly and accepting and reminded her of her father's smile that she realized she missed terribly. A thousand thoughts raced through her mind and she felt herself walk toward the man fearing everything but him.

She sat down in the booth across from the man and looked around the room. Mismatched chairs sat in foursomes around tables draped with checkered tablecloths. The checkering was continued on the curtains pulled back from the windows and ash trays and condiments all sat partially full on each table. There was considerable noise coming from the kitchen next to them and a tired old waitress bustled back and forth between tables and the kitchen with trays and dishes and drinks all the while seeming to put most of her effort into ignoring Marilyn and the man. Marilyn realized the man had never said his name.

He seemed to be in no hurry to tell her much of anything and yet he had a friendly, knowing look about him that intrigued her. He sat back in his seat and lit a cigarette he had just taken from the ash tray and breathed out making an unusual effort to not blow the smoke in her direction. He seemed to relish in the smoke and the moment, tilting his head back and looking toward the ceiling and then down to her like they were old friends who did this every day. Marilyn just stared at him.

"The owner of this place is a friend of mine" he said, as if Marilyn had asked about it. "I sit back here and nobody hassles me." He paused and then said, "I recommend the pancakes."

Marilyn still stared at him without speaking, trying to soak up everything she was seeing. He looked more real now away from the gazebo with an air of intelligence in his weathered face that even she recognized. She felt he must be an important man even though he was not dressed like it and had humor in his eyes that made her feel welcome and comfortable.

"So, is that what you want? Pancakes?", he asked.

Her head cocked ever so slightly to one side and after a pause she said, "What's your name?"

He grinned and said simply,"Don...Don Dodson."

Good one, Ben!

Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote. - Benjamin Franklin

Bad name or good marketing?

I'm not sure if this product was well thought-out or not. Maybe they are just naive. Maybe I'm not naive enough. Maybe they wanted you to stumble across it if you googled something else, you know, manly. I don't know and I'm not going to google it to find out. And I'm not being seen in my yard riding one. By the way, it's not the "Zeon" part I have a problem with.

One more reason to go to my church

I've written here before of the evils of racism and what a cancerous poison it is to a person. Today I was reminded of a childrens' song I haven't thought of in decades. Something about,"Red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in His sight. Jesus loves the little children of the world". I was reminded because as I looked around our church today I saw so many different shades of skin color and it almost made me laugh. What a good barometer of a groups' heart: wanting every week to worship with people for no other reason than because we want to worship God. It doesn't matter about skin color any more than it does eye color. I saw rich people sitting next to folks that are struggling--people that have nothing in common except a love for the Lord and we just had a great time!

Our pastor told a funny story today about one of his kids. Our pastor and his wife who are white have four adopted black kids all five years old and younger. He said that a while back that the boy who is the oldest was going through a phase of going around saying some random word over and over again. Who knows what goes through a kid's brain but he enjoyed "popcorn" for a while. He would run around saying "popcorn, popcorn, popcorn!" Then he moved on to "cracker". He'd run around saying "cracker" just for the fun of it. Pastor said that they invited some friends over one night for dinner and when the doorbell rang the boy opened the door and yelled "Cracker!" to the white guests as they came in the house. I imagine that was probably hard to explain!

I hate to think of when that little boy will learn about racism but thankfully our church will probably not be the place.

How many can you do?

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.


-Robert A. Heinlein

Don't read this if you don't like it.

Man, it's been a long week! I mean, it's been like 6 days since I've been on the beach and I'm really feeling it. I need a break. For some reason this week has been especially confrontational. I collect taxes for a living so I don't expect to be Mr. Big Popular in most places but this week has been rough. I've heard "I hate you", "I hope I never see you again", I made some people cry and saw several nekkid women. All in a day's work!

Oh, you think it's all funsy wunsy going to the strip club to collect tax? Not when you can't tell if the girl dancing is wearing any bottoms because her fat is rolling over so much! I think you just put the dollar between the rolls. There might even be a change machine in there. I'm not sure. When she turns around you just swipe your card and put in your PIN #, I guess. Not sure how all that works.

I did get to do a couple of things today that made me happy. I went to Half-Price Books and bought some stuff I'll probably never read and also bought some popcorn at The Popcorn Store and came home and ate it so that made up for alot this week. Anyway, I hope to write some more about Marilyn and Teddy soon. I've really enjoyed that. If you don't then quit reading it. Oh, one last thing: do you really need a Facebook and a Myspace? They're the same thing! Do one or the other.

Just my thoughts. Like I say, it's been a long week.

Li'l twirp!

Overheard as I walked through the mall today from a little boy to his friend as I walked past: "Wow! Did you see how big his eyes were? He was scary!"

Where's the bacon?

What kind of sissy-boy burger doesn't have bacon?