Thursday, April 26, 2007

Easing back into it

( OK, Todd, you can do this. Take a deep breath...) Been a while since I last posted anything. (Come on, big boy, you can do it.) I have been pretty busy lately, ah! that's not the truth!! (Easy, easy!) Actually, I have been busy but that is not the only reason for not writing anything for so long. Please bear with me as I try to get through this as I have alot running through my mind right now and writing without it all spilling out on to your monitor is difficult. (That a boy! One paragraph down, you can do it, I know you can!)

My wife told me I write too much about things that I don't like; things that are bad or that I think are stupid like the show "24" whose ratings are DOWN this season!! HAHAHA Jack Bauer, take th(OK, settle, settle down, deep breath...) So, anyhow, I want to tell you about some good things that have been going on in my world and my goal is to not to dwell on the craziness that I see all around me. To tell you the truth, I wonder sometimes if it is not me that has gone crazy. My therapist says "crazy" is not the right word for it but WHAT DOES SHE KNOW? ALL SHE DOES IS SAY "HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT?" I COULD DO HER JOB AND SAVE ALOT OF (ok, Todd, calm down, breathe, find your happy place.) Sorry. A couple of anger management two-day follow-ups and I'll be right as rain. (Smile, breathe.)

I took a little time off from work lately. My therapist was probably right about my need for that. Something about my co-workers appreciating it. I took my motorcycle for a nine-day southern state tour partly to see my sister and her family in Georgia and partly to silence the voices in my, well, nevermind, I wanted to see some new country. And I saw some gorgeous country, too! And when I have to find my happy place, it could very well be Deal's Gap, North Carolina next to the little brook in the mountains. That is, before it stormed and the tree nearly fell on me in my tent. I survived (but didn't sleep that night) and had some great adventures that I will never forget. My Dad called me an idiot for going. Yes, my own flesh and blood father. But he also told me to make sure I kept gas in the motorcycle so the "idiot" thing sluffed off pretty easily. (Now you're in the flow, kid, keep going, breathe.) Hang on, it makes me wonder about people calling other people names. (Don't go there! Go back to Deal's Gap!) No, of course it's wrong but what's the big deal? People have called other people names since at least Noah's day and only recently have people been so "sensitive" about it. When someone calls someone else a derogatory name or describes them unfairly that says alot about that person saying it. Don Imus is a bitter old man who used his microphone to disparage everybody and my point is: Who cares what he says or even what he thinks? Who is he to cast judgement on anybody? He's the idiot! So quit worrying your nappy heads about what other people that do not even know you say about you or yours! Should everybody that says something unflattering about another person be fired?! THEN GET TO FIRING THE POLITICIANS AND ALL THE KIDS ON THE PLAYGROUND AND SHOOT ROSIE O'DONNELL IN THE BIG, FAT HE--oh, my brain hurts! (take a break, lay down.)

Believe it or not, the list of people I do no like is not a very long one. I still have faith in people in general and believe that there is good in everyone and I try to look for that good instead of always focusing on the negative. I am a very "glass is half full" kind of guy even in these days when just watching the news can be hazardous to your health. I like nothing better to hear about talented and courageous cops, soldiers and teachers who do their job everyday for little pay and everyday are part of at least minor miracles. The problem seems to be that there is not enough time on stations like CNN to run all the news like that. You know, because we need to hear for two straight months about the death, albeit tragic, of a no-talent, physically over-enhanced, blond "bombshell" and, you know, we need to see 24/7 news showing our political leaders demoralizing our troops in Iraq and, sure, we need to spend every spare second FORCE-FEEDING OURSELVES ON THE COTTON CANDY ISSUE OF GLOB (Oh, no, not yet, please stop!) ....... What are we thinking? What kind of garbage are we allowing into our houses and into our minds? Tell you what. You say you care about our kids. You say you support our troops. Turn off the television news and prove it!

I admit I may have some anger issues but I promise that most of the time I am a very laid-back, fun-loving guy who my wife thinks does not worry about much of anything. Most of the time she is right. I find worrying doesn't seem to help much but I do have issues about which I am concerned. I have faith in sovereign God that He will protect me and that nothing will happen to me or my family that He does not allow. I cannot explain how God chooses to work and to tell the truth, that should make us all feel good! If I was able to explain God, He would not be much of a God. I do know, though, that God does not want us to be doormats and patsies lazily sitting on the couch waiting for the world to collapse. Some righteous anger placed in precise places can be as wonderfully effective as dynamite to blow away the complacency of a distracted life. I also realize that because I am human my anger is not always 100% righteous. (OK, sorry Rosie.)

I have realized that with age comes shifting, not dying, passions and with that shift I no longer care as much about how my hair looks (although I did not really have a choice) and I care more about the future. My future, the future of my wife and kids and the future of my country all weigh on my simple brain. I see all of us making poor choices and focusing on things that do not matter and I have to wonder how much longer this country will be the world leader that it is today. How much longer will the world have any respect left for us as a country? God's Word tells us that there are benefits of obedience and consequences of disobedience for us as individuals but also for our country and my concern is the speed at which our love for ourselves is overtaking our basic goodness. It is starting to make me mad and the problem is, I have to be mad at myself just as much as anybody else! (Hey, maybe I'm making some progress here! The first step is admitting you have a problem...) Hopefully, though, I am getting better all the time and I know I am feeling better just writing about it! In fact, maybe I can write about "it" now. (Oh, please be careful!!)

Here goes. (Easy...breathe...easy) I could get very frustrated with "it". (Take it slow...) "It" is the leading cause of my therapist driving a Jaguar. "It " is probably going to make me shoot blood out of my eyes if I hear anymore about it!! (Go to the happy place for a minute...) "It" is...I hate to even say it...I'll spell it. G-l-o-b-a-l W-a-r-m-i-n-g. AAUGGH!! Am I the only sane person in the world or am I the only crazy person who thinks global warming is a scam and a lie?? Let's just talk about the earth getting warmer. OF COURSE IT IS, AL GORE, YOU INCONVENIENT IDIOT, THE EARTH HAS ALWAYS WARMED AND COOLED IN CYCLES SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME!!! (Aaahh!! What does an aneurism feel like?) Look, I am no scientist, but I am a thinker and I think it is great to want to save energy and protect the planet but you are not going to save the world by installing different light bulbs and driving a Prius when there are 1.37 billion people in China alone who couldn't care less! Sure, do your part but shut up already about things that you do not know about! (Oh, gee, I think I just pulled a muscle. I could be out again for a while!)