Bad news: we elected Gilligan to be vice-president.
Good News: I got HD and a DVR!
Bad news: Swine Flu is the new AIDS.
Good news: I don't have to watch commercials anymore!
Bad news: Obama kills babies with his open heart and open mind.
Good news: I have a crystal clear picture and extra channels!
Bad news: Nancy Pelosi is obviously a zombie fire ant wandering aimlessly with no brain.
Good news: I'm paying less now than I was for regular TV!
I think the world is going to be just fine now!