Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.

While it is true that I once had a warrant for my arrest in Utah, it is not true that it was for drugs. See ancient post here. But I am pretty sure this is typical Utah Police procedure: no warrant, no warning, and as soon as he opens the door they triple-tap him. Good thing he wasn't on a motorcycle.

Resume for Dew

Dear Dew, that word is resume (re-zu-may) not (re-zoom). It is what you send to people who hire people that have been fired from most of their last jobs. Here is a good example for you.

Saturday, December 14, 2013

He's just misunderstood.

'In my defense, popcorn banana slideruler gently mucking squirrels.' - the Mandela memorial's fake sign language interpreter

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

No big deal.

That's how I slept nearly my whole marriage. Man slept for 10 hours unaware of knife stuck in his back.

Global Warming and Santa Clause

Both are fake. Both have had way too much money spent on them. Al Gore knows both way too intimately. Just read the article. The video is way too boring and stupid.

Thursday, October 24, 2013

And here he is!

Everybody needs 3 dogs, right? The loss of my sweet Dori Belle definitely left a hole in my life but now, with the addition of this little guy, there is a hole in my slippers, my socks and 2 pairs of jeans. I didn't intend to get a clone of my big dog, Bo, but he does look a lot like him. He is 1/2 Border Collie, 1/2 Blue Heeler and 1/2 Australian Shepherd, or something like that. I was going to name him Deacon so I could make the joke about not being able to do something because I had a meeting with a Deacon, but that joke got pretty old pretty quick and the name just didn't flow out. The name that did flow out, though, was "Junior" and since he reminds me so much of Bo, I think I have settled on that. It's a very important decision when you go to name a dog and I didn't take it lightly. So, please welcome, in all his razor-teeth glory, the wild man poop machine himself...Junior Blair.

Thursday, September 19, 2013

6 years!

Almost 6 years to the day and finally it is official. I bring it up again because it is so rare that I'm right about anything half way important. This is my post from September 28, 2007. http://toddblair.blogspot.com/2007/09/ok-here-goes.html And then read this: http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2013/09/19/new-study-says-threat-global-warming-greatly-exaggerated/?intcmp=latestnews. Not just exaggerated but "surface temperature increases have been statistically insignificant for the last 15 years, and that Antarctic sea ice is increasing, not decreasing."

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Ft. Hood shooting

Ok, seriously how much longer do we have to keep having this trial? Dozens of people saw him do it. The MP's saw him do it and shot him. He has admitted doing it. What's the purpose of this trial continuing? I'm not putting his pic on here or even naming him because these freaks want all the glory they can but I would like to grant him his last wish. Let's make him a martyr.

Do you know why? BECAUSE IT'S A LIE AND A HOAX!

"OFA Gets Zero Attendance for Climate Change Rally" I have been trying to tellyou since at least 2009 that global warming / climate change is a lie from da debil (read Al "internet" Gore). Finally people are beginning to read BITYSD!

The world I live in...

That's it. I'm seriously done. I can't stand it anymore. If I knew of the country on earth that wasn't a crazy place, I might just go live there. I can't stand the direction liberals have taken this country financially, morally and politically but this is the last straw. I have been going to rodeos since I was a little kid and I have seen rodeo clowns put on masks or put masks on manikins for a hundred years. Bush, Clinton, Reagan and Nixon have all been favorites but now some guy in Missouri made the mistake of putting on an Obama mask and now they want all rodeo clowns to take sensitivity training. Just say no. Don't do it! The day rodeo clowns go to sensitivity training is the day I stop going to rodeos. I specifically want my rodeo clown (and they prefer the term "bullfighter" by the way) to be insensitive. A sensitive clown is a boring clown. It's what clowns do and it's what makes them funny. If it's offensive then just leave the rodeo and go back to the fashion show and shut up. That's all.

Dinner tonight

My garden has had a pretty good run this year and dinner tonight is proof. I had some bacon that "needed" to be cooked so I put one piece in with the green beans on the stove and then decided if it was good enough for green beans then it ought to be good on the squash. Best squash evah! I seriously ate more squash than bacon. Next time I will put the bacon on first and then the squash but other than that, it was perfect. The corn was incredible but then, everything is pretty good with butter and salt. Pretty sure I could be a bacon vegetarian.

Monday, July 15, 2013

Dori Belle

My sweet Dori passed away Saturday morning. No symptoms except she didn't want to eat. I am crushed but I have so many funny stories about that little funny girl. She always made me smile. Always the last to do everything including giving up when chasing a critter on our daily walks. She never complained and was happy whether we were going or staying. She was the cutest thing God ever created and I love her dearly.

Friday, July 12, 2013

One of these days...

I'm gonna run with the bulls one of these days like they did this week and as they have done forever in Pamplona, Spain. And if this happens to me and I live, I am going to make this into my picture on my business cards and a t-shirt and my Facebook picture. Just epic.

Monday, June 10, 2013

The silver lining

The good news about the NSA monitoring our every move online is that at least now I know that somebody is reading this blog.

Tuesday, June 04, 2013

Kohl's update

A while back I wailed and moaned on here about how Kohl's Department Store kept sending me flyers addressed to my ex-wife who has never lived at this address. Well, I'm back to wail and moan a little bit more. This picture is not a pic of all the flyers Kohl's has ever sent me. Oh, no! This is a pic of all the flyers they have sent me since the last time they promised to take me off the mailing list in March. I have called, mailed and emailed numerous people who always promise that they will take care of this problem and they are so sorry it has happened. Call me skeptical at this point but I went ahead and addressed my complaint on their Facebook page so we will give them a day or two to respond. I know you are dying to know so I will be sure to keep you updated.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Dog on a Goat

This Vietnam-era Gama Goat is pretty cool and is supposedly even amphibious but I still say it's overkill for hauling around that dog.

Monday, April 22, 2013

Because I always do what Dewey says.

This is a rock. This is a big rock. It is, in fact, the biggest wild rock I have ever seen. Oh, sure, there are some bigger domesticated rocks or maybe some bigger rocks in zoos somewhere but this is the biggest rock I have ever seen in its' natural habitat. The reason I took this picture in the first place was because I was instantly reminded of the days when I customized trucks for a living. I worked in a shop with several bays and 2 buildings. We always had the radio on to either country music or some kind of rock music (now don't get ahead of me here). I remember one day we had it on some heavy metal music and the singer was singing over and over again, "I want to rock!!! I want to rock!!! I want to rock!!!" Eddie was an older man who worked in the other building and he just happened to be walking into our building when the lead singer was carrying on. Eddie walked through and without a pause just said, "Man! I wish somebody would give that guy a rock."

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Not an anniversary to celebrate

We are going through a video series Wednesday nights at our church entitled "The Journey Through Grief". It is designed especially for those who have suffered the death of a loved one but I have found it to be very good for anyone who has suffered any kind of loss. Part of the healing process involves talking about the person or even writing them a letter saying goodbye. It has been very good for me in my divorce. I only wish I had seen it sooner. So, as part of my own journey I would like to say goodbye to her. It was 3 years ago today that she left me and I still have a hard time believing it sometime. I am having a hard time right now just writing her name. I don't want her back but I miss her every day. I also don't need anybody's comments. I just need to say goodbye. It is not what I want to do. It never was. Goodbye Rhonda.

Thursday, March 07, 2013

Kohls Schmolls

Here's the deal: since June 2011 I have been receiving mailers from Kohl's Department Store to my address with my ex-wife's name on them. She has never lived at this address and I don't want to get them anymore. So, since June '11 I have been sending emails, letters and phone calls over and over again and I always get the same response. So I told the last lady who responded to me that I would share with all my friends on Facebook, Twitter and blog how this tells me a lot about their company. So, you don't have to read all of it. I just wanted to do as I said I would do and share with y'all some of the correspondence. It may not seem like a big deal to anybody else...and evidently that's the problem. Thanks for reading. Here's the last email: Dear Mr. Blair, Your e-mail was forwarded to my attention in the Executive Office of Kohl's for follow up and resolution. As it is my intent to provide our customers with quality service, I appreciate the opportunity to review your concerns. I regret your disappointment with receiving your ex-wife's mailers. I understand how frustrating this may be. As requested, I have forwarded your information to the Marketing Department for processing. Our mailers are printed and addressed six to eight weeks in advance and held with the US Postal Service until the delivery dates printed on the mailers. Due to these lead times required as part of the marketing process, it may take 12 to 16 weeks to stop receiving your ex-wife's mailers. I apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused. Mr. Blair, you are a valued customer, please do not hesitate to contact me at 1-262-704-9154 with any further questions or concerns. We look forward to serving you again. Sincerely, Tameya Tarkington Executive Correspondence Advisor Kohl's Department Stores Me: Thank you Ms. Tarkington. Unfortunately this is the same response I have gotten month after month. Everybody passes it on and nobody ever takes care of it. How hard could it be!? Nobody will take responsibility and just click "delete" over the name. Disgusting. It tells me a lot about your company. Somebody put in the effort to connect my address with her name but nobody will undo it. Prove me wrong.

Friday, March 01, 2013

I should be so eloquent...

As pastor of Christ Fellowship (http://christfellowshipchurch.blogspot.com/) in Wise County, I often tell people they should come to our church, if for no other reason than the view. Our back deck looks out onto Lake Bridgeport and the sunsets are usually pretty incredible. Our church is right next to the dam and that, of course, was brought up when we were debating on a name change. Thankfully we settled on Christ Fellowship instead of the Dam Church or something similar. Our church has a great relationship with the Unchained Biker Church in Chico a few miles down the road and I got the opportunity to preach there last night. I have been going through a series on Heaven and Hell at our church and so I asked some of the congregation about what they thought I should preach. Should I give them Heaven or Hell? They overwhelmingly agreed that I should preach on Hell so I did. Leave it to Speedy, the pastor of the Biker Church, to bring it all together when he said last night afterward that they should have put a banner out advertising that the dam pastor was going to give them Hell.

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Good day at the range

I took my niece, Blair, to the gun range yesterday. I found out on our way over there that she had never shot a gun before so it was pretty exciting for her. And I have to say that she did incredible! You may not think so by looking at the target but we shot all kinds of ways. I had her shoot 2 handed, one handed, and left handed from pretty close to very far. After the target got pretty full in the center, I told her to aim for the left or right shoulder or the white box up top and she did really well. "Some" may call this gun "soul-less" but not Blair. She loved it and so did I.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013


I had some friends come over to the house today and of course my dogs got all excited as dogs will. My friends are dog lovers and so they petted them all and then one of them points to Bo and says, "He needs a filipet." "A what?", I asked. He repeated, "A filipet." "What the heck's a filipet?" "A what? No. A PHILLIPS HEAD SCREWDRIVER!" He looked at me like I was the crazy one. I finally understood what he said. "Oh, ok...wait. Why does my dog need a phillips head screwdriver?" He gave me the same look as before, like I was the idiot. "What?", he said. "I didn't say your dog needed one. I need one!" Oh good grief. So I got one for him and half expected him to hand it to Bo but he turned around and tightened up my door knob. Weird.

Monday, January 14, 2013

As for my previous post...

"The problem with quotes from Hitler found on the internet is that you don't always know if they are true." -Abraham Lincoln