Tuesday, January 27, 2009

I'm no schmuck!

I may not be alot of things that I should be. I may be alot of things that I should not be. One thing I ain't, though, is a schmuck. I'm not even sure of the definition of the word. It's sort of one of those things that you know it when you see it. I hate the feeling of someone trying to make me out to be a smuck when I'm obviously not one. It's sort of the same feeling you get when you're a tourist. I don't want to be like everybody else and I don't want people thinking I'm stupid. Am I the only one knowing what I'm talking about?

Here's my example: I joined the National Rifle Association in August of last year. Without exaggeration, it was within two weeks after joining that they sent me a letter asking me to renew my membership. They had not even sent me my membership card and they already wanted me to send them more money. Now, I understand that the NRA does not survive without money (I'm not stupid, remember?) but if I had wanted to sign up for multiple years I would have done so. I also don't like being asked if I want a fried pie at McDonald's for the same reason and yet I understand why they ask -- because some people are schmucks!

At least twice a month I get a warm and loving personal letter from Wayne LaPierre who is the Executive Vice President of the NRA. Each one tells me how smart I am for joining and how valued I am to the association and how they could not do it without me. I'm sure a miniscule part of that is true but today's letter said that if I would just renew now that I would "save the NRA the cost of sending more notices". No (head-bob) kidding! I have a better idea. If they would just quit sending me notices it would save them money on sending me notices! And quit calling me Todd..."Dear Todd", "Thanks to you, Todd", "You're so hot, Todd! Love, Wayne" What do they think I am? A schmuck?!


Anonymous said...

How much did you write the (head bob)check for? schmuck


The Donald said...

Don't feel bad, Todd. I got the same letter from Wayne. And he did say you were hot!

Don Dodson said...

I sign up for all the liberal mail lists just so they will waste postage on me. Then I put their stupid letter in the "Postage Paid by Addressee" response envelope and send it right back to them! Sometimes I get two mailings on the same day, so I switch envelopes. Sarah Brady meet Cindy Sheehan.

BTW, I found that the NRA, RNC, and most other groups will put you on their low-frequency mail list if you call and ask.

Don Dodson said...

If you are curious about the "official" meaning of the word, you can find it at the "Urban Dictionary".

todd said...

Wow, D2, that's a whole nuther blog entry right there!

The Donald said...

Oh wow, I didn't know that - and I used to live in a German-speaking country.