Three weeks ago today I woke up in the emergency room in Vernal, Utah. I didn't know at the time that it was Vernal, Utah. In fact, I wasn't even sure I was in a hospital. I just knew I wasn't on my motorcycle like I knew I should be. A concussion was keeping things mentally cloudy for me but after a few hours of being in and out of it, I finally realized that my leg was pretty messed up. It was the next day before I knew it was broken but I knew pretty quickly that this was going to be a big problem.
I didn't know where I was. I didn't know where my bike was. I didn't know where all my stuff was and didn't even know who did know. I have to admit that a wave of self-pity swept over me and I remember turning on my side and thinking to myself, "God, why would you do this to me?" and just as soon as I had the thought I realized how ridiculous that was! I knew the answer but couldn't help myself from asking the question.
The first and foremost answer to that question is that I don't know. Isaiah 55:8 says, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD." I don't know the answer and that in itself is an answer and I'm ok with that. How does the sun come up? Why do bad things happen to good people? Why do rabbits eat pellets but their poop is round? Why don't I have hair? (Ok, some of those questions are scientifically explainable but it doesn't mean I understand it.) I understand that I'm not ever going to understand some things.
Secondly: Why not me? Matthew 5:45 says, "He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous." Maybe God has allowed me to go through something like this so that I can relate to other people who have been in similar or worse situations and maybe I can even help them somehow. Maybe they need to see how God works in my life through this and they decide they might like to have Him work in their life in a similar way. Any ol' fool can have pity, Mr. T, but the Lord gives grace.
The third way I could answer the question of "Why would God do this to me?" is to ask myself what else could have happened. All that happened was that I broke my leg and had a concussion. I fell off of a moving motorcycle and that's all that happened! Talk about grace! I'm thinking about telling people some other story when they ask what happened because I'm tired of people telling me their motorcycle horror stories. Especially doctors! I know what could have happened but it didn't and I'm very grateful in a way that I wasn't before.
So, the question of "Why?" is a natural one, I think, but not necessary. Maybe I haven't broken any new ground here but nothing in my life has helped me to understand this as clearly as having this happen. The whole Book of Job is also a little more clear to me now, as well. I still don't understand the rabbit poop thing but some things are better left unknown. I hope that helps.