First and last time

At my age, there are not too many things that I am too cool to do but I found one yesterday. I told my wife I needed to go to Walmart and get a few things and I would be back in a few minutes. Evidently, I sometimes forget I'm on crutches because it wasn't until I walked into Walmart and went to grab a grocery basket that I realized that my hands were already full. I tried sort of bumping it with my chest but that didn't work and I tried a couple of other ways to do it but I finally was about to give up and just go home when the sweet little old greeter lady at the front door saw me and immediately said she would get a motorized cart.

"No, no, no!", I pleaded but it was too late. Here she came, pedal to the metal. I looked around to make sure I didn't know anybody and finally just got on. She even took my crutches. "Don't go too fast" she said seriously as I sped off at 1/10th of a mph. How embarrassing. The old, fat ladies on the other carts looked at me like I was a gangster on the wrong side of town. Little kids looked at me like I was the Elephant Man. Everybody else that saw me tried not to stare but I know they were trying to figure out why I was on there. The worst part was the certain people who pretended that I wasn't trying to get by and would just stand there in the way. I would have run them over but the cart just stopped whenever it hit something and they never even knew it hit them. They're lucky this time...and there will never be a next time. Even I'm too cool for that!