Sometimes I don't write because I have nothing of real value on my mind to share. Sometimes I don't write because I have too much on my mind to share. Sometimes everything that is on my mind makes for a very heavy weight and I just need to share it with somebody. Everybody gets that way sometime. I've noticed a change in how I write lately. I put that stupid picture up on the previous post, well...I don't know why. It's stupid. Nevermind that picture. I just thought the blog needed a picture. No great wisdom or thought going into it, obviously, but it's part of how my writing (what there is of it) has changed.
I look back at some of the stuff I have written lately and it's not good. The quality of the writing itself is as good or as bad as it's ever been. Shakespeare's not yet too worried, but the content just seems bitter or angry sometimes and to be honest, it's not coming from a very good place. Talking about shooting someone in his "fat-encrusted heart" or making fun of midgets or even bad-mouthing Obama all seem funny but at the same time those mean comments are coming from a source that I don't really like. Mama says, "What's down in the well comes up in the bucket". I don't like my well lately and I could use several things as excuses but it comes down to being my choice.
In the Old Testament there is a story about a man named Joshua who had a choice to make. His choice would affect generations of people to come. The decision he made and his stand to live by that choice had direct implications on how his children and his children's children would live their lives. It was a time when idolatry was more common than serving God and Joshua stood up before his family and his friends and even his enemies and announced his decision. He didn't make fun of those who didn't agree with him or make them look stupid. In fact he gave them the option to continue serving their man-made gods but he told them in Joshua 24, verse 15, "But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD."
I love that story! It is inspiring to read about Joshua and his commitment. I even have the last part of that verse on a large plaque in my living room letting everyone know that I agree with Joshua and I, too, say, "As for me and my household, we will serve the LORD." But there's a problem. What if they don't? What if my kids, who are older teenagers, don't live like they care to serve the Lord? You see, I have found that just because I say something doesn't necessarily make it true. Imagine that! Just because I say that my family will serve the Lord and not serve man-made idols does not mean that it happens. I know because I have seen their Myspace pages and I know who they run with and I have seen pictures and heard from their own lips things that are contrary to the whole "me and my house" thing. I'm trying to lead the charge and I look behind me and nobody is there. You're not much of a leader if nobody follows, huh?
So, now I'm just frustrated. I understand that people (even teenagers) are responsible for their own actions and that we all have free will. I know I can't convince everybody in the world that my way is the right way. Heck, I'm guilty of not living it myself. In fact, don't tell my kids but I did all the things they are doing and then some and I still screw up more than most. I don't want to do that, though, and I ache for my kids to not have to experience the consequences that I did because I was not choosing to serve the Lord. I have first-hand experience to the blessings of obedience and the consequences of disobedience but I feel like my hands are tied behind me when it comes to talking to my kids. Evidently I ruined their lives by marrying their mother years ago so they don't talk to me about anything.
Actually, I have to take my share of the blame. I'm the adult and I should be able to react better when they act like they do but after a few years of rarely, if ever, hearing "I'm sorry" or "I apologize", I began to realize that they weren't sorry and that it didn't matter what I said or did. I couldn't make them genuinely regretful about whatever it was I thought they should be regretful. As you can imagine, our relationship has suffered. I know my wife loves me but it causes problems when I don't see eye-to-eye with our kids. Again, I know I'm not the first or last to go through junk like this and I'm gonna try to adjust my writing style a little more toward the positive side. I believe you choose your own attitude but even more I have peace and joy in my life even when things don't go my way. I'm not perfect and I may still make a few snide remarks about Obama or soul patches but when I choose to serve the Lord and to have a personal relationship with Jesus, who is God and the Christ, I know I am forgiven of all my sins and that takes the weight off of me.
3 comments:
As I lurk here in the gray area, I realize your gonna leave me without a wingman. I might as well step into the light but it aint gonna be pretty!
DT
What!? Obama has a soul patch?
I think maybe the philosopher Robert Allen Zimmerman, better known as Bob Dylan, may have been channeling old Josh when he wrote this, in 1979:
"You may be an ambassador to England or France,
You may like to gamble, you might like to dance,
You may be the heavyweight champion of the world,
You may be a socialite with a long string of pearls
But you're gonna have to serve somebody, yes indeed
You're gonna have to serve somebody,
Well, it may be the devil or it may be the Lord
But you're gonna have to serve somebody.
You might be a rock 'n' roll addict prancing on the stage,
You might have drugs at your command, women in a cage,
You may be a business man or some high degree thief,
They may call you Doctor or they may call you Chief
But you're gonna have to serve somebody, yes indeed
You're gonna have to serve somebody,
Well, it may be the devil or it may be the Lord
But you're gonna have to serve somebody.
You may be a state trooper, you might be a young Turk,
You may be the head of some big TV network,
You may be rich or poor, you may be blind or lame,
You may be living in another country under another name
But you're gonna have to serve somebody, yes indeed
You're gonna have to serve somebody,
Well, it may be the devil or it may be the Lord
But you're gonna have to serve somebody.
You may be a construction worker working on a home,
You may be living in a mansion or you might live in a dome,
You might own guns and you might even own tanks,
You might be somebody's landlord, you might even own banks
But you're gonna have to serve somebody, yes indeed
You're gonna have to serve somebody,
Well, it may be the devil or it may be the Lord
But you're gonna have to serve somebody.
You may be a preacher with your spiritual pride,
You may be a city councilman taking bribes on the side,
You may be workin' in a barbershop, you may know how to cut hair,
You may be somebody's mistress, may be somebody's heir
But you're gonna have to serve somebody, yes indeed
You're gonna have to serve somebody,
Well, it may be the devil or it may be the Lord
But you're gonna have to serve somebody.
Might like to wear cotton, might like to wear silk,
Might like to drink whiskey, might like to drink milk,
You might like to eat caviar, you might like to eat bread,
You may be sleeping on the floor, sleeping in a king-sized bed
But you're gonna have to serve somebody, yes indeed
You're gonna have to serve somebody,
Well, it may be the devil or it may be the Lord
But you're gonna have to serve somebody.
You may call me Terry, you may call me Timmy,
You may call me Bobby, you may call me Zimmy,
You may call me R.J., you may call me Ray,
You may call me anything but no matter what you say
You're gonna have to serve somebody, yes indeed
You're gonna have to serve somebody.
Well, it may be the devil or it may be the Lord
But you're gonna have to serve somebody."
The fact is, everything we do has consequences. If we're not serving the Lord, well, what does that leave?
I noticed that song has a lot more verses (7) than a lot of stuff played today.
Todd:
The Socratic concept of living the examined (introspective) life is certainly alive in you - unquestionably most today seem to lack any awareness whatever.
Like you I am often frustrated by the degree to which "the world is (too much) with us", the shallowness of modern 'culture', materialism, mindless 'entertainment', the debasement of moral standards. It sometimes seems overwhelming, and sometimes I feel it's my responsibility to soberly consider and reflect on the world's problems, despite all the 'grasshoppers' around me.
But then I remember that there's someone else who gladly bears our burdens, and that it's not my place to carry the burdens of the world.
Reading Ecc. 3:4, there is a time to weep AND a time to laugh.
So, we can, and should, note the shortcomings of the world, educate our brothers and sisters about what can and should be, and still we can take a moment to poke fun and laugh at soul patches and Nobama, and 300 lb. inmates.
To everything there is a season. Let us enjoy all the seasons HE made for our lives.
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