Thursday, August 07, 2008

Sounds like something I might say...

It's 700 degrees outside and I only had a sandwich for lunch so I think I deserved an ice cream cone from Braum's. I sat down to enjoy the treat and overheard a man talking to his wife at a table near mine. Using all of his white trash education he was explaining how a crook launders money. Now, I know as well as any man the importance of having my wife think that I know what I'm talking about at all times but I'm pretty sure laundering money does not involve using your stolen money to buy a laundromat.


Don Dodson said...

I thought it meant running cash through the washer.

Anonymous said...

Alright, alright! I hate to be the bearer of bad news here.

Now, I'm perfectly willing to believe that ol' Bubba probably was just trying to impress his sweetie, but it turns out his story could be true, whether or not he knew it.

Money laundering often involves the purchase of some, any, kind of business that typically takes in large amounts of cash - the better to commingle, or mix with the illicit loot, thus creating the appearance that the proceeds emanated from lawful sources. Pizza joints, car washes, laundromats - all of these potentially COULD be useful in a ML scheme.

This next is taken from a site on the subject:

//The solution--classic money laundering--is to create a business to ostensibly earn that money. Any business that brings in a good deal of cash will do. You run the business as usual during the day. Then, after closing, you feed in your day's illicit receipts, pretending that they'd been received by the business. In due course the business pays its taxes and all the tax man can see is that you're running an unusually profitable business.

Now, the tax man may well take an interest in such a profitable business, so it's best if it'd be hard to prove that you couldn't be doing the business you're paying taxes on. A bar, for example, wouldn't be the best choice, because you wouldn't have ordered enough booze to pour all the drinks your books will say you've sold. Coin operated laundries and car washes are classics, because the only way to prove that you hadn't actually done all that business would be to have an undercover agent surveil your place for weeks, counting every coin inserted by every customer. (Although agents have been known to subpoena the water bill and try to make the case that way.)//

The above citation is from:

Anonymous said...

What flavor ice cream did you have?

Anonymous said...

Hey, don't say anymore about me bein' at Braum's an' talkin' about how to do money launderin' and all - I don't want my wife to find out 'bout my 'enterprise'. That woman - she weren't my wife, if you catch my drift. Thanks, buddy.

- Bubba