Wednesday, December 16, 2009

I need a scam.

Years and years ago I worked for a guy who was a pretty good business man. In fact, his business continues to grow and thrive even today. I remember talking to him one time about how it seemed to me that everybody had some kind of scam going on. Everybody seemed to have something shady but lucrative going on and I was thinking out loud to him one day about how crazy it seemed to me that people worked so hard to try to make a few extra bucks by trying to rip somebody else off.

He heartily agreed with me that if people would just put as much effort into legitimate ventures that everybody would be so much better off. We seemed to be of the exact same mind about the detriment to everybody involved when it came to illegal, immoral or even under-handed dealings with people and that we could hardly stand people who were "scammers". In the next breath he went on to tell me that the "only thing" he had going on was this complicated scheme he had been doing with his federal taxes and maybe a few minor kickbacks to some local movers and shakers. You know. That's all.

I look back and realize that was my first step into Crazytown. It is the ultimate naivete to think you are not naive. I have at last come to the realization that I am the only one left in the world not trying to pull something over on somebody else and I'm tired of it. I want in! I hope all the good scams aren't gone yet. I am actually a big fan of a good scam. In fact, I hate to admit it but evidently Al Gore is a smoking genius! I mean look at this whole climate change deal. We first heard it called "global warming" and when that title failed to fit he just called it something else and said it was now even worse. Now the only way I can prevent polar bears from drowning and kids in Somalia from starving is to pay money. Genius!

Hitler once said that if you tell a big enough lie enough times that pretty soon people will believe you. So I'm working on my scam but don't worry, it's going to be big. Well, maybe not "climate change" big or "Obamacare" big but still pretty big. I need something, though, that will be as big or bigger than my previous boss or even the boss I have now, who's scam is to make everybody feel bad so she feels good. It's even working out pretty well for her and she's no smarter than I am. So, this is just a warning. Be careful around me because I could be using you in some way for my profit. It could happen! Oh, wait...maybe I shouldn't have said anything. Dangit! I already messed up! Nevermind.

1 comment:

The Donald said...

Classical baroque composer Johann Sebastian Bach inscribed on all his compositions "S.D.G." - Soli Deo Gloria (to God alone the glory), recognizing his reward was not material, but in applying his incredible talent to glorify the Master.

Modern culture has come to bastardize the concept of the dignity of work. We were designed to work, using the talents given us. But everyday we see those who take shortcuts reaping rewards.

Ah, but shortcuts to where?