Sunday, October 19, 2008


I grew up in a family full of preachers. My Dad is a preacher. I have several uncles that are preachers. Cousins, brothers-in-law, distant relatives. I can even prove that I have some kind of relative that was a preacher when he came over on the Mayflower. Does this make me more spritual or holy? No, it makes me have alot of experience hearing stories. Preachers tell lots of stories. They use stories in their preaching to illustrate points and they just seem to have alot of stories to tell even when they aren't preaching. So, I have heard alot of story-telling in my day and I can appreciate a good story when it's told. I also like to tell stories and I think a good story should be told even if it makes me look bad.

My father and uncles are some of the best storytellers in the world. I have never laughed so hard as when my Uncle Bill tells about being in the Army or in the oil field when he was a young man. He tells about being in Boot Camp and how you had to run everywhere and then wait in line for everything. He said they ran to the chow hall one day and then waited in this long line down the sidewalk to get in the chow hall. They came to a tree next to the sidewalk and there was a man in the tree shouting over and over "I WILL NOT CUT IN LINE!! I WILL NOT CUT IN LINE!!" He said he thought that was pretty funny until he came to the next tree along the sidewalk and there was a man in that tree also shouting. Uncle Bill said this young man was shouting, "I WILL NOT LAUGH AT THE MAN IN THE TREE SHOUTING I WILL NOT CUT IN LINE!! I WILL NOT LAUGH AT THE MAN IN THE TREE SHOUTING I WILL NOT CUT IN LINE!!" Now that's a funny story!

Because I like to tell stories and I think a good story needs to be told, I have decided to include a some-what regular feature to this blog that I will entitle simply "Storytime". It's my blog and I reserve the right to tell stories just for the sake of the fun of telling it. Previously, I have told certain tales and had some sort of moral to go along with it but when it comes to "Storytime" you may not get any kind of moral or real reason for telling it other than it being funny or interesting to me. I may remember something funny that happened to me or I may choose to use one I have heard in a sermon or it might be something a relative told. Again, a good story just needs to be told.

Allow me to start it off with a classic about my dog JD. If you never got a chance to meet JD, it's a shame. He was an Australian Shepherd and he was smart as a whip and went with me almost everywhere. He went to work with me every day when we worked at a feed store in Arlington. The little store had no air conditioning and we kept the doors and windows open all the time. JD was free to come and go as he pleased but he never went too far and was always right there when a customer came in and he loved to meet people. He was the "Will Rogers" of dogs in that he never met a man he didn't like!

Sometimes JD would go out back of the store and chase a squirrel or a bird but he always came right back. There was a time, though, when I noticed JD was gone and he stayed gone for longer than usual. I had also noticed that his appetite was not like it usually was. This lasted several days and then one day he didn't come back to the store and it was time to close. So, I put everything away and closed up the store and went looking for him. It wasn't like him to be gone this long and I was getting concerned. I got in the truck and drove all around the neighborhood. I saw a little boy on a bike and rolled my window down and asked him, "Have you seen a medium-sized grey and white dog around here"? He thought for a second and said, "You mean like the one down at Accent Tire"? I said, "Thank you". Now, I know the folks down at Accent Tire because we had done business together many times. Their store was about three blocks away from where we worked and I knew they didn't have any dog that matched that description. So, I drove down there and got out of the truck and looked in the window before I went in. Sure enough! There's JD.

As I walked in the door, the bell rang and it woke JD up out of a sound snooze. He was obviously enjoying the air conditioned comfort of the office at the tire store. He glanced at me as I walked in and then laid his head back down and then did a quick double-take as he realized he was busted. He walked over to me with a funny "I was just passing by" look on his face. I asked the secretary working there why they had my dog in their store. She said, "Oh, we just love JD! And he loves these jelly donuts". That's my boy.


Anonymous said...

Is this going to be a LONG story?

Actually, my friends (I'm channeling John McCain), I'll let you decide.

But, according to MS-Word, it contains (not including titles or spaces):

- 6 paragraphs

- 75 lines

- 934 words (non-Asian)

- 3677 characters

So, long story or not?

Doesn't matter, because, as its writer noted, a good story is worth the telling, and hearing (or reading).

And, stories about JD are some of the best...

Anonymous said...

...of course, we very much enjoy the stories that make you look bad, as well!

Anonymous said...

I'm going to rescind any perceived criticism of the length of this story, although I hope I was clear in my explanation that I always enjoy going along for the ride.

I've just come from "One Nation Under God", a fine blogspot in its own right. It would appear, however, that its author, D², took writing lessons from Tolstoy.

On a very informative piece about the relationship between Senator Obama and '60s radical William Ayres, I ran the same analysis as I had for Todd's blog about storytelling, and found:

- 3 pages (at 7 point type)
- 25 paragraphs
- 181 lines
- 2609 non-Asian words
- 14,756 characters

After a couple of espressos, three No-Doz, and an orange juice chaser, I was able to finish the blog entry, and draw the following conclusion about Barack Obama and Wm. Ayres that JD could have told you very succinctly: "He who lies down with dogs gets fleas."

And that, my friends, is getting down to the heart of the matter.

Anonymous said...

I just read the "Storytime" about JD. Loved it! Now for one of my own. About a kitty, however, not a real kitty, but a "granddaughter" kitty. While at the hospital in North Caroline where my daughter was being cared for during her difficult pregnancy, my granddaugter and I were leaving one afternoon. Peyton was dressed as a kitty cat. We trudged all the way to the car with our "stuff" in hand. Once there, Peyton declared that she "needed to go." Oh my gosh! Peyton, I exclaimed. We just left the hospital! Couldn't you have gone to the bathroom while we were in the building? Now, we have to go ALL THE WAY BACK (for a grandmother, this can be a very exhausting trek.) Peyton looked up at me and said, "Bammie, when a cat's got to pee, a cat's got to pee!" I nearly fell over with laughter. So there you have it! When a grandmother has got to pee, a grandmother has got to pee! See you later!

The Donald said...

>> She said, "Oh, we just love JD! And he loves these jelly donuts".<<

JD, Jelly Donuts. Hmmm. Coincidence?