Friday, October 31, 2008

Somebody stole my Halloween!

It's nearly 8:00 pm and we have not had one trick or treater. No pirates. No jokers. No princesses (I have enough of those at my house any way!). What happened to Halloween? Did somebody call it off and nobody told me? Nobody even calls it Halloween anymore. Well, the churches don't call it Halloween, at least. They all have "Fall Festivals" or "Harvest Fests" or just "Trunk or Treats" How lame! When I was a kid our church had a spook house and a Halloween carnival. And we called it Halloween and nobody got sacrificed to Wicca or had any spell cast on them. Bring back my Halloween! Besides, what am I gonna do with all this candy?


The Donald said...

I went out and bought about $18 worth of candy (it'll be $5 worth tomorrow), then took my daughter to Trunk or Treat at the Church, and chauffered the boys to 2 different events.

So now, I have all these unopened bags of candy. I wasn't even home all evening to answer the door!

The Donald said...

Todd, I can't give you back your Halloween, but I can offer this story, courtesy of Aprilwine:

A cab driver picks up a Nun.

She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome
cab driver won’t stop staring at her.

She asks him why he is staring.

He replies:
‘I have a question to ask you but I don’t want to offend you.’

She answers,
‘My son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am
and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and
hear just about everything. I’m sure that there’s nothing you could
say or ask that I would find offensive.’

‘Well, I’ve always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.’

She responds,
‘Well, let’s see what we can do about that: #1, you have
to be single and #2, you must be Catholic.’

The cab driver is very excited and says, ‘Yes, I’m single and Catholic!’

‘OK’ the nun says. ‘Pull into the next alley.’

The nun fulfills his fantasy, with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.

But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

‘My dear child,’ says the nun, ‘why are you crying?’

‘Forgive me but I’ve sinned. I lied and I must confess,
I’m married and I’m Jewish.’

The nun says, ‘That’s OK.
My name is Kevin and I’m going to a Halloween party.’

The Donald said...

You mentioned "Trunk or Treat" festivities, offered by churches, as being lame.

My church, one of the mainline denominations, held a Trunk or Treat Friday evening, and it was pretty cool! I took my two youngest. There were about two dozen SUVs and minivans festooned with as many skulls and devils and spiderwebs and smoke machines as you could conjure up.

One of our most frequent ushers, a leading lady of our church, was dressed as a witch, and had one of the best decorated Suburbans.

There were hotdogs and sodas, a live band, and a couple of bounce houses. No effort to pretend it wasn't Halloween, just an invitation to the community to join us in the fun. I hope a few, maybe a lot, of non-members stopped by and thought "We can see ourselves being part of this congregation!"