Saturday, October 25, 2008

Now there's an idea!

Now I do not condone "Hit a Jew Day" in any way, shape or form but I think those mush-brain kids may be on to something. The "Hit a Tall Person Day" is pretty good but may have serious consequences and I've warned you about consequences before! "Hug a Friend Day" is either gay or could get you in trouble at work (or both) and about the only thing in the world I'm too mature for is "High Five Day".

But they may be on to something with a "Hit the --fill in the blank --Day". The possibilities are endless and why does that make me smile? I'm not talking about beating somebody up or any thing approaching violence but, you know, just a good, hard punch to the back in between the shoulder blades. Just get their attention, maybe make 'em lose their breath for minute. No harm done.

There will have to be some rules. You know me. I'm all about rules so here are some guidelines: Nobody below the age of, oh, let's say five. Nobody over the age of eighty-nine. Except for illegal aliens. They are all fair game since they waived their rights when came over illegally. Gypsies get hit twice and zombies just have to be shot. Simple enough? Ok, here are some of the days I thought of off the top of my head:

"Hit the Cat Day"
"Hit the Free Credit Guy Day"
"Hit the Undecided Voter Day"
"Hit the World's Biggest Cowboys Fan Day" (so obnoxious!)
"Hit the My Child is an Honor Student Day" (Parent and student)

So, what days do you think we should have?


Anonymous said...

I think there'd be widespread support for "Hit a Lawyer Day", could maybe even be upgraded to "Choke a Lawyer..."

"Hit That 'Can You Hear Me Now' Guy" would probably work well also, and could be expanded to most TV pitchmen, especially those on daytime UHF programming.

"Hit a Self-Centered Self-Destructive Professional Athlete". There's not enough paper to print all the sign-up forms for that one, but it would require an accompanying waiver, in case the spoiled athletes hit back.

Well, gotta go, I just got a call from the party store that my O. J. Simpson pinata has arrived.

The Donald said...

Speaking of bumper stickers, I like the one that says: "My Dog's Smarter Than Your Honor Student".

Anonymous said...

This is a little different, but could be adapted to be a birthday party activity. The Ogle School of Hair Design recently added it to their syllabus.

It's called "Paint Conan O'Brien's Hair a Natural Color".

Don Dodson said...

Smack the kid with the baseball cap turned backwards up side of the head.

Anonymous said...

D², I agree with that. And make them pull up their pants while they're at it!