Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Places I've been, things I've seen.

One of the things I enjoy about my job is the way it takes me to places I wouldn't ordinarily go where I see things I wouldn't ordinarily see. The last couple of weeks have been noteworthy in that regard and while I probably have not seen everything yet, I had to share these. Keep in mind that I collect taxes (don't even start with the Zachaeus jokes!) and all of these places charge some kind of tax and have at least something in common.

Last week some in my office went down to the Main Street Arts Festival. If you have never been just imagine every kind of art being displayed in booths by several hundred vendors all along the main strip downtown. I don't understand several things about this festival but mainly why some people obviously pay alot of money for some piece of artwork that I would pay to have hauled off and also how is it that if you put a frame around it you can call it art but otherwise it would easily qualify for soft-core pron?

While we were down at this modern art festival I noticed a woman walking around with a shirt that advertised the "Vagina Monologues". I don't know what that is but her shirt said in big letters on the front, "If your vagina could talk..." and on the back, "What would it say?" Well, that's a dumb question but the middle school boy in me had several dumb answers! Her shirt also said in smaller letters, "Celebrate V-Day". Celebrate V-Day? What does that involve? Is there a parade? Do I get the day off? Do I have to wear a certain color or get pinched? I don't know if I want to know!

Last Saturday night we went to a strip club. Yes, I promise this was for work! And trust me, if I had the opportunity to go back to this place I'd pass. I just have to wonder if the woman I saw working there had a mirror at home at all. She was obviously wearing the same tiny bikini that she wore 85 pounds ago and those poor pieces of cloth were screaming! It looked like a band aid being stretched around a can of biscuits! If that clasp breaks somebody could lose an eye. What may be worse is that some guy was there watching her dance. Sometimes it's embarrassing to be a part of the male species.

I have to say that those experiences pale in comparison to what just happened to me this morning. I left my house this morning to do what I do every day but I had no idea it would involve something I had never done before and hope to never do again. One of my stops today was a "resort". This "resort" has been collecting tax but not remitting it back to the state so it is my job to go see them and convince them to pay up. I had been to this place before in years past and I knew what kind of "resort" it was but in the past it was cold outside and the few people I saw were all dressed warmly. Today is a bright, warm, sunshiney day and the first man I saw as I pulled into the parking lot was wearing a hat and a pair of flip flops. Period. I got out of my car and grabbed my laptop as the man approached me. "Hi! Can I help you?", he said like someone behind the counter at the mall. I introduced myself and he told me his name as he politely put out his hand. Now, I had just a fraction of a second to decide. Does one shake hands with a nekkid man? I didn't know the answer soon enough, I guess, so I just shook his hand, and looking him square in the eye, I asked for the owner of the resort. He jumped on his golf cart and went to get the owner leaving me standing there outside the office. Evidently this is a popular place with older men as I saw several more as I stood there. One guy getting in the pool. Another one working on his tan. (No tan lines!) Everybody just being normal. You know, just another day at the resort. The owner did finally arrive and luckily he was wearing jeans so we talked and then I left. I don't know about you but that was a first for me. Now I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings. Maybe I should bring my camera along. Or...maybe not.

(Editor) I undestand that the content of this post has made this website blocked by some internet filters. I changed the spelling of a couple words that might have been the culprit. Let me know if that helps.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I heard on the radio yesterday or so that the TXCPA was going to begin collecting the "Men's Club" surcharge that went into effect ... whenever. I figured you guys would get some, uh, action on that.

Now, regarding art. I also attended the MSAF downtown, but in a different role, with my kids. I don't know if we're talking about the same display, but I saw a booth near the Flying Saucer parking lot that had some tasteful nude photography. By 'tasteful', I don't mean I'd place it in my daughter's, or even (especially?) in my sons' room. Rather, it seemed to celebrate the female form as God created it, and as a male of the species, I've always been grateful to Him for that. So, while I wouldn't go so far as to call what I saw 'pornography', it may be questionable whether it was appropriate for open display at an 'all-ages' event.

What I enjoyed at the MSAF were the woodworkers & turners: there were several more than have been the last two years. There was a fair amount of black & white art photography having nothing to do with nudes, that was spectacular (think Ansel Adams). Glass art was in abundance, but only a couple of pieces that were really outstanding, IMHO. A few metal sculptures were noteworthy. I was disappointed that the pottery offerings this year were fairly bland. One bright note was a lady who made hand-formed leather masquerade ball masks (think Mardi Gras) selling for $100-200, whom I'd first met at Jazz Fest last fall. Very creative designs, and I think my daughter tried on most of them!

Did I set some sort of record on your last blog entry? Remember, you did ask for comments...

Anonymous said...

Another thought regarding the Art Fest, for which we may all be thankful.

I received a hyperlink last week from a friend, regarding a 'weird news' item from, surprise, San Francisco, about an art student who 'displayed' some 'performance art' as part of a course project. His 'performance' included unspeakable acts on a volunteer, outdoors on campus in front of other students and possibly the public.

I'm glad to not have seen any such in Cowtown!

Anonymous said...

The, um, resort of which you speak...that wouldn't happen to be near Decatur/Alvord/Bowie would it?

Am not sure I understand the notion of more dudes than gals hanging out in their altogethers. I mean, sauce for the goose/sauce for the gander is all well and good, but if'n it was me, I'd br pretty much like: "Mister, if I gotta watch 5 nekkid guys walk by for every nekkid woman, I reckon I'll just pass."

Now, I gotta wonder what's the protocol for such a place. Going out on a limb, I'm guessin' the ladies at this 'resort' are not last year's Sports Illustrated swimsuit models. But, for the sake of discussion, if you, uh, sort of involuntarily register approval when a female of the species passes by, are you considered uncouth? Or, if you fail to so respond, are you being rude (or gay)? Do you apologize? "I'm sorry, ma'am, it's not you. I seem to have a very bad bout of ED this week..."

I hope you can sort out the ground rules of this place before you have to do any enforced collections.