Commercial crazy

I hate commercials. I'm not talking about disliking commercials. I don't mean I would prefer not to see or hear commercials. I mean I have the kind of white hot passionate hate for commercials normally reserved for bigots against minorities or widows who just saw their favorite cat get run over by a drunk driver! Even a good commercial makes me want to gouge out my eyes or eardrums! The problem with commercials is that they interrupt what I want to hear with something about which I could not care less with annoying announcers and poor acting. This is usually done right at the most interesting parts of the show and usually offend even my limited intelligence with wild claims about saving me money or making me more beautiful. If I wanted to try your product or service, I would find you. I have never seen a commercial and immediately felt it was in my best interest to go buy what you are selling.

I understand commercials are necessary. I understand the fact that shows are not produced by people not interested in making money. That is fine with me. I just don't want to be involved. Is that too much to ask? Probably. We recently bought a truck that came with Sirius Satellite Radio installed free for a year. I was so excited that finally I would not have to listen to commercials since this is a paid service. I just assumed that since one has to pay for Sirius that there would not be commercials like there are on terrestrial radio. I was wrong. So now, not only do I get poor quality reception and choices that include gay radio, but I also have to listen to people telling me that Honest Bob is stackin 'em deep and sellin 'em cheap! Makes me want to yank the wheel into a bridge embankment!!

OK, so what could possibly be worse than a commercial, you ask? I will tell you what is worse. I will tell you what makes me so mad I could spit. Worse than a commercial is any commercial from someone running for public office. I have had it up to here with would-be judges, governors, senators and congressmen telling me that if I vote for them they will be tough on crime or that they will protect my children. They say they want to shake up Washington or change Austin or provide leadership for my community. Regular commercials are bad enough but at least they tell me about their product. When politicians tell me they are tough grandmothers or that they are not part of the Washington elite, they tell me nothing!! What do you stand for? What is your platform? How will you protect our borders? How will you make sure every child has a chance? Tell me specifically or shut the heck up! I appreciate the fact that you were in the military or that you are supposedly active in your church or that you once met George Bush but what are you actually going to do if I vote you into office?

Every now and then I see a good commercial. Sometimes they are well done and tell me about their product in a way that amuses and provokes me. Even then I never spend money on them, though. But if a politician insults me personally by thinking I am too stupid to realize they are not being forthcoming with their beliefs and still wants me to cast my precious vote for them then I have bad news for them. If somehow I do hear your name and remember it (since I try to mute them) I promise to vote for the other guy. Republican, Democrat, Independent or space alien: it does not matter. Tell me specifically where you stand on immigration and I will vote for you. What is your specific plan for giving Iraqis back full control of Iraq? You have my vote and I will tell my friends. If you cannot tell me you are wasting my time and making my blood pressure go up. Now shut up and let me finish watching The Simpsons!

My name is Todd and I approved this blog.