Sunday, January 10, 2010

Gun names

In the mid-1980's the U.S. military adopted the Beretta 92FS to become its standard issue sidearm. They immediately called it the M9. Dozens of manufacturers produce a Model 1911. It's also known as the 1911/A1. It mainly is known to come in .45 ACP but also comes in almost any number of other calibers. A Model 70 Winchester rifle can come in almost any caliber from .22 to .458. The military's rifle is the popular M-16. It's also known as the M-16A1, M-16A2, M4, AR-15 and it shoots the .223 round which is also known as the 5.56 mm.

Still with me? Good grief, I don't even know what I'm talking about! All I know is that guns should have names, not numbers. Not names like SIG Sauer (why is the sig in all caps but not the sauer?) or Garand or Walther. I don't think these people know how to spell. I think guns need more nicknames so I know which one people are talking about. I like "Ma Deuce" or "Burp Gun" or "Grease Gun". Even "Tommy Gun". I know what that looks like. It even has more nicknames: "Trench Broom", "Chicago Piano" or "Chopper". Any of them are better than "Thompson submachine gun".

I know of at least one "Poodle-Shooter" and a few called "Ol' Faithful" or "Tiny" or "Big Boy". I'll just call my pistol "Bill". It's short, plain, and nothing fancy. It fits. I don't have a name for my shotgun but maybe "Mudfence" because nothing can be pretty with that name. So, what do you have? "Padre" or "Buzzsaw" or "Cereal Killer"? Maybe a "Screamin' Meemie" or a "Bugle"? Just don't tell me you have an AR-10A4 SPR or I'll get ol "Loudmouth" after ya!


Anonymous said...

They now have guns in pink camo that I'm sure you can call "princess buttercup" if you want. I don't want to call mine anything other that "reliable" and "handy" when I need them.


Anonymous said...

Um, I got hoglegs, black and red hawks and labels, a humpback (but not the one you're thinking of) and a Back-Up, and a Rolling Block. Man am I a sight!

I'm kept company by my Bulldog, Scout, and Elsie.

I coulda been a Contender...

Oops, got one a them, too!

The Donald said...

Hey, maybe me and slabsides with my Mohawk can hang out with you and your mudfence, huh?

I was gonna upbraid you about Chicago Pianos and tell you it was actually Typewriters (a reference to an early, movable type, machine, in use before your time, using a keyboard).

But then I checked and found out both terms were used to describe the firearm, designed by John Taliaferro Thompson, and favored by mobsters and lawmen alike.

Anonymous said...

Used to be a product for bird hunters that clipped to your belt and formed a shelf or pocket to distribute the load of carrying your shotgun during long treks afield, as in quail or pheasant hunting.

In an abject marketing failure, it was named "The Butt Buddy", since you rested the butt of your gun in it.

I can just imagine a guy gettin' his gear together in camp in the morning, before first light, "Yo, anyone seen my Butt Buddy?"

Maybe a model number would've worked better...

The Donald said...

Is that a Webley revolver?

The Donald said...

OK, I'll answer my own question.

You know how I enjoy a good puzzle.

It is not a Webley. It's a Russian Nagant, probably model of 1895, ( (

I knew it didn't appear American, inasmuch as it wasn't a six-shooter(evidenced by three visible cylinder flutes), the odd cylinder advancing system, and the clunky hammer (no flare or crown on the top surface).

Anonymous said...

Oh, yeah, the Περίστροφον M1895!

Don Dodson said...

I've always just called my 6" Ruger GP-100 .357magnum revolver "Magnum". My wife calls her 4" Smith & Wesson Model 64 revolver "Mrs. Magnum".