Thursday, February 18, 2010

James and I don't understand.

In the front of my Bible there is a note that I wrote to remind myself of an important date. The note reads, "I was saved Feb. 16, 1975". I grew up in a Christian family but still probably did not completely understand what all "saved" entailed in 1975. And that's okay. If we waited until we completely understood everything none of us would ever make that decision. For me, as a small child, I knew enough to know that everybody did things that were wrong and I wanted Jesus to come into my life and forgive me and I wanted to go to Heaven and that was pretty much all I knew about it. Looking back, I realize that's all I had to know. I also realize how much more there is to know.

Today I visited my friend James in the nursing home. James is 65 years old and has always had the mind of about a 6-7 year old. He has always been slow-minded and he has always had a child-like loving heart and loves to go to church. But now dementia has taken away my friend and he doesn't even respond to me. I don't think he recognizes me at all. He lives in a dreary, smelly old place with dreary, smelly old people that he does not know nor do they really know him. He shares a tiny room with another man and has two pictures of his mother hanging on the wall. A tv set sits on a small dresser. That's all the possessions he has. He has nothing to do all day but watch tv. And I have to admit that all I can really do for him is pray that God takes him soon.

The older I get and the more I think I know about God, the more I realize I don't understand. I don't understand why bad things happen to good people, or why good things happen to bad people. I don't understand why God allows some things or if he causes some things to happen and just allows other things to happen. I don't understand alot of things. You can ask my wife or my boss about that, but I am beginning to understand that this life is all about having a relationship with God and not just knowing facts about Him. So someday I will ask Him all those things but until then I will trust Him. And I look forward to seeing my friend James there too. I do know that.


John said...

thank you for sharing this Todd. John and I were just talking about how we haven't seen him @ church in awhile.
I know how you feel about praying for him to go now...I did that for almost 2 weeks when I watched my grandmother die in '96. Life can really be unfair but if we pray we can be @ peace.

Shay said...

He may not recognize or remember you, but it's important that you still remember him. I'm sorry to hear about James. I've gone through this several times with close relatives. It doesn't get easier.