Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Just say "NO", Moses!


The truth has finally come out this week about the embarrassing drug habit of one of our religious founding fathers. I am sad to admit that the 12-step program Moses was in (yes, that Moses) could only take him so far and that to really have several of his other-worldly experiences he turned to smoking the Biblical equivalent of a doobie. We now realize the burning bush was really a burning blunt and that his mountain top experiences were trips provided by his dealer Aaron. It is sad to have to acknowledge the reason God provided manna in the desert was just because Moses had the munchies and the millions of people following him just wanted a sample of that sweet Canaanite Gold. So remember: Friends don't let friends get 10 commandments!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Wow! And I thought I'd tempted lightning strikes sometimes with my sometimes not-quite-thought-out comments...

One supposes this could explain the long hair, sandals and robes, huh? Or, the loss of coordination that caused Moses to drop the third tablet with the other five commandments. Oh, nevermind, that was Mel Brooks' History of the World, Part I. Far out!

But basically, I hope this doesn't creep into the New Testament, causing a re-write, you know, a new, like, transcendental international version (TIV) of the Bible. I don't want to read a revisionist Luke 2: "Like, Joseph was looking for a place to crash with his old lady in Bethlehem; and then he came out of the Sands motel office, and said, 'Dude, where's my a$$?'." It just wouldn't seem right.

Is it just me, or are the Newport News swimwear models on the referenced article page unusually attractive?