Thursday, January 31, 2008

Achmed


Achmed's version of the Madonna song "Like a Virgin" loses something in the translation.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

I'm not responsible

If my windshield gets hit one more time from a rock out of the back of a truck like this I am going to start wearing a sign that says Not Responsible for Punching Truck Drivers and then I'm gonna go push the back of his truck!

Where did this McCain from from?




Just a month or so ago I was telling someone how I have my favorites for the Presidency but I could be very happy with almost any of the Republican candidates. The Democrats are way out there for me and I don't necessarily agree with all of the Republicans but I could throw my support behind any number of the Republican candidates. In fact, more so at this point than I could ever remember, we were sitting pretty good with our choices. Romney, Thompson, Huckabee, even Guiliani would be pretty good! Now all of the sudden this John McCain guy is THE front-runner! Thompson and Guiliani aren't even running anymore and now it looks like the least conservative guy in the pack is liable to be our guy! What happened? Or, a better question is: What can we do to keep it from happening in 2012 when I move back from Switzerland?

Monday, January 28, 2008

At least half of Bill Maher is stupid!


Where do I begin? I do not know much about Bill Maher. His show does not come on any station or time that I watch so I have never seen it. He did seem to come off very arrogant and ignorant at the same time. This video clip is a small round table of an eclectic group of people mainly discussing the Bible. It is offensive and sad at the same time and yet, at the end it made me laugh. I am hardly a Bible scholar but none of these guys have any idea about what they are talking!

It is offensive because Maher purposefully tries to make Bible-believers look ignorant. It is sad because I believe his ignorance of the Bible will be costly to him as well as others with whom he has influence. I have to wonder what that discussion would have sounded like had there been someone there with more than a passing knowledge of scripture. I appreciate Trace Adkins and D.L. Hughley trying to make their cases and stand up for what they believe in but Maher probably could have said almost anything and they would not know how to respond. I do not know what I would have said either, necessarily, especially on nationwide TV, but with the benefit of some time I have some thoughts about what was said.

The Old Testament especially seemed to be taking the most hits that night with the obviously gay Dan Savage saying it was full of "ancient desert prejudices" and saying people had used it to justify slavery. My Mother says one can justify anything and I suppose one could use even the Bible to do it but it does not make it right, legally or morally. Just because a situation is found in the words of scripture does not mean it was Divinely condoned. For one thing, there is a progressive revelation found in scripture starting with Adam and Eve in the garden. God did not explicitly reveal his will or what He expected of man at the beginning of time but chose to draw out His plan through His providence in His own time that continues even today. That is to say that man did not necessarily know from the beginning that things like slavery and polygamy were not what God wanted and even if they did they could justify their wrongs to themselves in the same way we justify our wrongs today.

Also, as one reads through scripture, and again, especially the Old Testament, one sees the benefits of obedience and the consequences of disobedience. Maher said he would put the Bible close to last of the things he would use to teach his kids morals and that is a shame. It is a wonderful book of history among other things; a book that vividly shows what happens to people when they do not put God first in their lives and mistreat others. In fact, despite the panel's errors regarding the Ten Commandments (twenty commandments?) they are all about putting God first and how to treat your fellow man and if one follows those ten, one does not need any other rules about rape, incest, bestiality or slavery.

Maher said one thing in particular that made me wince. His comment about people believing in a "magic person" was not so much hurtful as it was sad. It is sad because if Maher had read the Bible he would know that there is a big difference between magic and omnipotence; between a magician and a holy, sovereign and loving God who chose to reveal Himself through this love note of a book to a bunch of inherently un-Godlike people like Maher, Savage, Atkins, and me. So, call it "doing the God thing" if you like or even the opiate of the masses but to me I will always be a Bible fan and a Jesus-following, God-lover no matter what Maher and the others think.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Wesley Snipes


Wow! This Wesley Snipes continues to prove his irrelevence and meaninglessness in the real world with his continued problems with the Internal Revenue Service. Never a big fan of Snipes, I have done my best to ignore him and his I.R.S. problems that pop into the news every now and then but the headline about his threats of "increased collateral risks" to the I.R.S. agents caught my attention.

As a tax collector myself, I have heard similar threats. Bodily harm and mental regret and anguish are promised pretty regularly as well as name-calling and other mainly testosterone-induced harmless chest-pounding and rarely is it cause for real concern. I did have a man threaten to shoot me one time but he cooled off quickly when it was reported and he spent the night in jail. Something about threatening a public servant makes the police frown. Most of the time, though, the threats basically go in one ear and out the other.

Tax problems are embarrassing for people. They do not want people to find out what dead-beats they are and when trouble invariably comes they try to hold on to some semblance of control. Those two reactions can cause problems and it nearly always is worse for the taxpayer. Threats, excuses, crying, and promises will never take the place of responsibility. Forgetfulness and procrastination are disastrously poor excuses, not to mention the ridiculous race card that Snipes threw down! Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and pay what you owe and get over it even if you consider yourself to be famous.

So, Wesley, here's my advice, coming from one rebel to another so I know it is difficult: File it, pay it, and get on with it. The only collateral damage is going to come from your bank account and it will just get worse tomorrow. Now if you would spend as much time and energy on your movies as you did avoiding taxes you would probably win an Oscar!

Saturday, January 12, 2008

What does she mean?


I don't even understand what she meant by this. Did she just get caught up in the moment, or what because surely even Hillary doesn't believe that no woman is illegal?

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Kids

I hear people all of the time lamenting the fact that they cannot get pregnant. "We have been trying so hard to get pregnant but we just can't", they cry! A couple of things come to mind when I hear this. First, is it such a bad thing to be trying to get pregnant?! I mean, is that not about like trying to break the world chocolate-eating record? How much more fun could a job get? Oh, don't throw me in that briar patch, says Blair Rabbit! Yes, they are not going to get much sympathy from me! Second, have these people who cannot get pregnant ever been around kids? Have they spent any time with children of any age? Maybe they think that having kids is going to be as hard work as conceiving the little suckers. I hate to break it to them but raising kids is not near as much fun as trying to have them.

Seriously, when is the fun part in child-rearing? I need to know. I need something to look forward to. I know that the first few months are very difficult. No sleep, diapers, spit-up, cholic--sounds like me soon. Then comes the "Terrible Twos" that last for a couple of years, acting up in pre-school, and before you know it you have parent-teacher conferences more often than you used to have sex! With Middle School comes their first cuss words and learning more from their friends than you would ever want them to know. High School means they are going to try acting out all those things they learned while the only thing you are doing in bed is wondering where they are and what they are doing and if your insurance is going to cover it.

Oh, sure, there are times when they make you laugh but it is usually just because you can either laugh or cry and laughing takes less energy. Pretty soon you realize that they are having all the fun and yet they still have a worse attitude than you do and they seem to have no greater joy than when you are all miserable! I am sure glad I was never like that and I cannot understand why anyone would want to have one in the house! Mark Twain said, "Familiarity breeds contempt - and children." You are better off with contempt!