Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.

While it is true that I once had a warrant for my arrest in Utah, it is not true that it was for drugs. See ancient post here. But I am pretty sure this is typical Utah Police procedure: no warrant, no warning, and as soon as he opens the door they triple-tap him. Good thing he wasn't on a motorcycle.

Resume for Dew

Dear Dew, that word is resume (re-zu-may) not (re-zoom). It is what you send to people who hire people that have been fired from most of their last jobs. Here is a good example for you.

He's just misunderstood.

'In my defense, popcorn banana slideruler gently mucking squirrels.' - the Mandela memorial's fake sign language interpreter

No big deal.

That's how I slept nearly my whole marriage. Man slept for 10 hours unaware of knife stuck in his back.

Global Warming and Santa Clause

Both are fake. Both have had way too much money spent on them. Al Gore knows both way too intimately. Just read the article. The video is way too boring and stupid.