Good news for all of us who want to marry outside the traditional bounds of marrriage! The California Supreme Court dropped the ban on same-sex marriage the other day so how much longer until I'm finally going to be able to marry the loves of my life? Since marriage no longer really means marriage and it now just means the union of loving individuals I figure that soon I should be able to marry the individuals that I love. I mean, if two people of the same sex can marry, why not three people? And if three people could get married, why not a person and a non-person? Let's just throw the stinkin' doors wide smooth open and let's just say anybody can marry anything! What's the difference?
If all you want is whatever benefits that come with saying you're married and you don't mind watering the institution down to whatever justifies your lifestyle, then I'm gonna marry my dogs! How about that? I guarantee that we love each other and have a loyal commitment to each other. What else do you need? If something happens to me I want my dogs to be provided for so what better way than to mutilate a holy instituion? I can't help that I love dogs. I've known that I love dogs since I was a little boy. I was born that way. Now I can finally prove with a piece of paper that I'm not wrong for loving dogs. I look forward to spending the rest of my life with Bo, Sara, and Dori in loving matrimony as soon as California or maybe Massachusetts makes it legal. Don't worry, I'll send you an invitation.
4 comments:
Dear BlueBoy editor: Um, I got this friend, uh, let's call him Dewey. I'd like to ask him out to go camping, like, in Montana or something - I just LOVED Brokeback Mountain, and I cried when that guy died. How can I tell if he feels the same for me? Every since I was a little boy, I've dreamed of a fairy tail wedding in Berkeley, CA.
- Sleepless in Euless
Hey Todd! I'm down with the dog thing. My dog is much more loyal than my wife was, and seems to be more giving as well (so far I've been holding off her advances, she wants to lick me and stuff). I really feel like I can trust her - won't find her out at the bars or whatnot, maybe just outside the backyard occasionally. I don't even think she'd object if I referred to her as my B----. And she's D/D free - just got her tested for heartworm 2 weeks ago! Not neurotic, doesn't hide under the bed when it storms, and won't make me take her out to fancy, schmancy restaurants - a ride in the car with the windows down will do.
But, you know, the minute they legalize marriage to canines, some Ca-li-for-nia perv dude will come along and want to marry his boy dog, and that just ain't right...
you may be sleepless in Euless by your still dreaming!!!
you need Jesus!! not me!!!!
Dew
Dew:
Wasted words, my boy! Wasted words. (Or is it wasted days and wasted nights?)
Sleepless in Euless probably doesn't know that Jesus doesn't go camping in Montana...
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