Monday, February 07, 2011

Of poultry, death and Dori-belle

I don't believe in Karma but if I did I would say it came to roost this past week.  I believe Dr. Frankenstein must have felt similarly when his monstrous creation turned on him as when Jose Luis Ochoa, 35, scumbag rooster fighter, felt when his creation turned on him (here).  Ochoa strapped a knife blade to the leg of a rooster and was then killed by said rooster.  If Ochoa wanted to be a rooster fighter he should have come prepared to fight.  How many high fours do you think that bird got when he got back to the locker room?  And talk about street cred!  I can just hear it now back at the barnyard:  "I heard he killed 4 Dominikers, 3 Rhode Island Reds and a Mexican!"  That bird's probably got a teardrop tattoo under his eye.  Even the fox won't go in the henhouse when he's in there!

In similar but different news, my dogs and I have found some really good hiking trails not far from our house.  Used mostly by off-road bikers, these trails are perfect for the four of us to get outside and get some exercise.  According to the tracks we see, deer, possums, coons, coyotes and buzzards all hang out in this woody area.  But never until last week have we ever seen a chicken.  I have no idea where this thing came from but it couldn't have been there long because there are too many wild critters that would love yardbird for dinner.

This is where my sweet little Dori-belle comes in.  Now as I said I have three dogs:  Bo is the big agressive male, Sara is the medium-sized but fast and sneaky one and Dori is the little bitty class clown of the group.  She loves everybody and everything and loves to play with me by grabbing my pants leg and pulling on it.  She found out though that chickens don't wear pants.  I looked up to see that big red chicken hopping on one leg, flapping it's wings and squalling bloody murder with a definitely smiling 12 pound mix breed running behind it with a chicken leg in her mouth.

When I quit laughing I called to Dori to leave that chicken alone and I swear that dog looked over at me as if to say, "Hang on!  I'm playing with my new friend!"  It looked like a cartoon with feathers flying and dirt getting kicked up by one chicken leg and two flapping wings.  Dori just squinted her eyes every time the wings popped her in the face but she was still smiling.  In fact she was still smiling when I finally made my way through the brush and got over to where I am pretty sure that bird had just died of a heart attack!  No kidding!  My sweet little Pookie Bear is a genuine chicken killer.  Not a mark on it.  Even the leg looked normal.  Oh, well.  Circle of life.  Some days you're the Mexican.  Some days you're the chicken.

Wednesday, February 02, 2011

Thoughts cuz I'm bored

It's the worst storm in the history of the universe out there right now and all I can do is watch the news and look online so here are some of my thoughts.

Groundhog Day.  Is there any possible way we could waste any more time and resources on complete foolishness?  I can understand doing that once and having a good laugh about what we assume some filthy rodent saw, but every year?  Y'all are alot more bored than I am and I'm pretty bored.

All you people who have lived "up north" and want to come down here and rag on us for not knowing how to drive on the ice:  shut up.  Should I believe you know how to drive on ice or should I believe my lying eyes that see you skating around like arrogant fools?

Do we really need some news reporter to stand on bridges in the -90 degree wind chill and tell us how cold and windy it is?  That poor girl is going to get sick.  Get her inside and let her point out the window if they think we need to be told how cold it is.

Has anybody checked on New Orleans lately?  If it starts to snow over there I want to make sure we have plenty of schoolbuses lined up to carry those needy people somewhere where somebody else can do everything for them.  And if they get any ice on the ground we could be rebuilding that place for years.

I have alot to be thankful for.  I have an incredibly warm and quiet house with a huge fire in the fireplace, lots of blankets, plenty of hot chocolate (although I do need milk, like always), and more food than I could eat anytime soon.  If I can sit around all day and only find this stuff to complain about I guess I'm in pretty good shape, huh?

Tuesday, February 01, 2011

He's persistent. I'll give him that.

I know, I know.  I said I wasn't going to say anything else about global warming but Al "Look at Me" Gore opened his fat mouth here and said this weather is caused by man-made global warming.  I'm not even going to refute it.  Read what he says carefully.  The words coming out of his mouth don't make sense, not to mention the science behind them!  It's just sad really.  He's fresh out of a divorce.  He's gained alot of weight.  He doesn't have a real job.  Oh, wait, maybe that's me...

Anyway, at least when I am proven wrong I don't keep insisting I'm right. 

Although, that's not what my ex-wife said.  Hmm...